Thursday, November 30, 2006

Get Called a Terrorist, Get $2 Million

(Happiest Patriot Act victim)

The U.S. Government falsely accused Brandon Mayfield, an Oregon lawyer, of being a part of the 2004 Madrid terrorist bombings after fucking up a fingerprint match.

The real kicker is that the Spanish National Police told the F.B.I. that the fingerprint did not match the U.S. still went ahead with it anyway.

And it blew up in their face to the cost of $2 million they had to pay him for "stress" and other euphemisms.

I need to figure out how to get paid off of this Patriot Act quickly.
I've been stopped at too many airports to not get paid.

I just need to find that fine line of being harassed to the point where you can sue but not to the point where you catch 50 bullets in your car.

- By the way, Kramer's rant increased the DVD sales of Season 7 of Seinfeld by at least 70 - 150%.
Sorry Jesse.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Shield Gone Wrong

(You are not Vic Mackey)

It appears that I am not the only one that waiting for the 6th season of Shawn Ryan's incredible ode to crooked cops and police brutality called The Shield to return in 2007.

It appears that police officers all around America are so eager to see Vic Mackey's brand of rough justice that they decided to take it to the streets themselves.

By now everyone knows that Sean Bell (not to be confused with the also deceased Stringer Bell) caught 50 hot ones on his wedding day because black men aren't supposed to get married.

Watch this visualization of the crime scene if you want to understand what went down.

And the stories of the UCLA tasering and the videotaped L.A. beatdown are old news in Internet time.

The shit y'all might not be up on is the 88 year-old grandmother Kathryn Johnson,

Who shot three cops in the face, chest, arm and leg after they stormed her house with a no-knock warrant because they thought she was slinging crack rocks.

She wasn't.
They lived.
She died.

And the cops offered to pay their C.I. money to back up their story. He ratted them out and now they're about to take the fall. Stupid cops, don't ask your snitch of cover your back.

Vic Mackey, come back soon so all these fantasy Strike Team members can live vicariously through your deeds and stop killing 88 year-old grandmothers and tasering UCLA nerds.

I'm trying to make it to 2007.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Stop Using the N-Word? Nigga Please!

The backlash against Kramer's racist rant has branched off all over the place.

I was talking to my boy the other day about the utter failings of the so-called "black leaders" and how meaningless of a gesture it is for Kramer to apologize to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson as well as appear on Jesse Jackson's radio show.

Did you listen to Jesse Jackson's radio show or even know that he had a damn radio show?
There is nothing Richards can say on that show that anyone doesn't know already.
Did he have plenty of black friends as a child and were some of those Negroes his best friends?

Of course they were.

Spare me the bullshit.
Michael Richards would have been better off apologizing to Will Smith or Fiddy Cent if he wanted to reach relevant black figures or have a real discussion about what happened.

Did Mel Gibson apologize to Woody Allen and Steven Spielberg after his little anti-Semitic outburst?

Who do Reverend Jesse Jackson and Reverend Al Sharpton really speak to and what can they really do to resolve this issue?

Well the shining leaders of the black community decided the best resolution of this problem is two-fold: First, boycott the 7th season DVD of "Seinfeld" and second, stop using the word "Nigga" in popular culture.

Black leaders seek end to use of slur (AP)

Let me address the first point; Season 7 of "Seinfeld" is fire.
This is the season with where George gets engaged, the Soup Nazi enters American popular culture along with the term sponge-worthy and Jacky Childs gets his Johnny Cochran on.
This season is not to be boycotted.

Secondly, no one will stop using the word "nigga."
I won't, you won't, white kids from Long Island listening to "Ready to Die" won't.
No one will.

First off, most rappers don't have enough words in their working vocabulary to remove "nigga" from the rap song equation. That is fact.

And most importantly black people don't have the Jewish power it takes to get things done.
When Michael Jackson said,

"You can never
Kill me
Jew me
Sue me
Do me
Kick me
Kike me
Don't you
Black or white me"

On "They Don't Really Care About Us" the Jews in charge damn near made him take the CDs off the shelf himself while making him promise to perform at several bar mitzvahs for free.
Or something like that.

Black people are so marginalized within the power structure that the blacks who are offended by rap can't do shit.
And most Blacks are so happy when the record labels throw them a bone that they dance a jig, literally.

Shit, even white principals of jig schools in the Bronx are doing the Chicken Nigger Noodle Soup,

Let's not forget the minstrel anthem "Zip Coon"

That was covered by Jibbs (a coon ass name if I ever heard one) and became a Top Ten Billboard hit,

And of course there is the now classic "Fry That Chicken" that has been getting play on radio stations in the south.

This new trend of Minstrel Rap and the real-life dangers that rap music spreads through the "Stop Snitching" movement and its violence laden culture is far more relevant and boycott worthy than anything Michael Richards could ever say.

But I guess Sharpton and Jackson get more camera shine rallying against the famous whites than they do from criticizing their own.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 11/19 - 11/25 (Russian Spies)

You can watch Casino Royale (which was on point) and think to yourself "What a fun little fantasy world," but that shit is real.

Alexander Litvinenko, an ex-KGB operative, was investigating the state-sanctioned murder of a Russian journalist who criticized the Chechnyan War (Russia does not play) and is believed to have been poisoned with a radioactive chemical (Like I said, Russia does not play) by fellow ex-KGB spies before a meeting in England.

America doesn't look so bad now does it?

Alexander Litvinenko for putting the reality of spy game back on the map, you are the Snitch of the Week.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Bush Twins Got Got (A.K.A. Robbed)

(Welcome to Argentina)

For those who don't know, I am using 'got' in the sense of being robbed.

I don't know how I didn't hear about this anywhere else, but Barbara Bush (the uglier one) of the Bush twins was eating at a restaurant in Buenos Aires with Jenna when the gulliest motherfucker in the history of gully motherfuckers jacked Barbara for her purse in front of her Secret Service agents.

And it seems he got away with it, which would mean that the dude now has her credit cards and cell phone.

Before you laugh with evil glee, just think about what it means for you when the U.S. government can't keep the Bush twins safe.

Watch ya back while you're eating that turkey.

Sinbad on Kramer

I saw this video of Sinbad talking about Michael Richard's blowup on CNN via Yahoo and I was looking for a way to post it on here.

Then it finally showed up on the mighty YouTube.
God bless Google and their $500 a share stock price.

Here's the video,

Sinbad used to get a lot of shit for being a more friendly Bill Cosby type comedian but I always liked the dude.
And he has given the best analysis of the whole situation by basically saying that Richards needs to go to the hood to apologize and take the ass-beating that may very well occur.

If you want a laugh out of this situation peep this remix of Kramer's blow-up,

Some good had to come out of this.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Bullshit Round-Up

(In the words of DP, HO SIT DOWN!!!)

Congressional Jig Charles Rangel is still trying to push his "idea" of reinstating the draft.

I said it when I first heard about this bill years ago and I'll say it again.

That Negro lost his mind.

His idea in principle, is that a draft would prevent wars because the rich people who wage them wouldn't want their children drafted.

A cute idea for an idealist liberal hippie, but reality would tell anyone with an I.Q. in the double digits that rich people who don't want to go to war will not go to war.
The rich will always win.

Shit, I'm not even rich and there ain't shit that would get me in a military uniform under a Republican president.

C'mon Rangel, focus on some shit that New Yorkers care about.

- Like getting kicked out of your gym for making noise while weightlifting.

Apparently a bodybuilder/state correction officer in upstate NY was told to leave his gym for grunting while lifting weights, and was then banned from the gym for questioning the policy.

From the article,

  • Albert Argibay, a bodybuilder and a state correction officer, was at a Planet Fitness gym with 500 pounds of weight on his shoulders one afternoon this month when the club manager walked over and told him it was time to leave. Mr. Argibay, the manager explained, had violated one of the club’s most sacred and strictly enforced rules: He was grunting.

    “I said to her, ‘I’m not grunting, I’m breathing heavy,’ ” recalled Mr. Argibay, 40, an energetic man with the hulking appearance of a pro linebacker. “I guess she didn’t like the fact that I challenged her, because she said to me, ‘Meet me up front; I’m canceling your membership.’ ”

    He continued lifting, but soon was surrounded by town police officers, who told him to drop the weight slowly and pack his bag, then escorted him from the gym.

And they sound an alarm to notify security when someone is breaking a rule.
I guess people working in prison should do pilates?

Granted some people overdo it with the weightlifting noises, but if you're putting 500 pounds over your head you are entitled to grunt.

  • Dennis G. O’Connell, a professor of physical therapy at Hardin-Simmons University in Abilene, Tex., has conducted studies on the effects of grunting. He found that weight lifters produce between 2 and 5 percent more force when they grunt, in part because the deep breathing grunting entails can help stabilize the spine.

With stories like this is it any wonder that male testosterone levels have been decreasing for the last 20 years?

We need to post some Man Laws in plain sight before sperm producing men go the way of black people in college.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Cosmo Kramer Does Not Care About Black People

In my continuing expose on the subtle and not so subtle racism out there, I have to put y'all onto this classic bit on celebrity meltdown.

Michael Richards, of Cosmo Kramer fame blew up the fuck up when some black folk heckled him during his stand-up routine at the Laugh Factory in L.A.

Peep the video here,


Heckling is part of the stand-up comedians' workplace hazards.
If you're really funny then you should be able to handle your hecklers.

The best ownership I have ever heard of a heckler came from Martin Lawrence.

It was off of his 1993 album "Talkin' Shit:Martin Lawrence Live" when someone tried to fuck up his routine and Martin got in that ass. Listen for the end where the heckling happens.

Martin Lawrence - "Braggin' On Their Dicks"

That's how you do it.

But rest assured the rest of the Seinfeld cast loves black people, so you can still watch the Seinfeld repeats.

Jerry Seinfeld already distanced himself from Richards, Jason Alexander is on Everybody Hates Chris so he's cool and Elaine is getting twisted out by Blair Underwood on her show, so I'm just waiting to see what Larry David's reaction is going to be.

Based on his interactions with the colored folk it should be special.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 11/12 - 11/18 (Smoking Gun - Borat)

Everyone is trying to come after Borat because they got got on camera.

But the Smoking Gun outted one of the frat boys who claimed he was "encouraged to drink" by Borat as an alcoholic way before the Fox movie crew rolled onto campus.

Guess what the culprit is?


The dude has damn near a dozen drunken pictures of his fat ass that the Smoking Gun pulled right off his MySpace page.

MySpace and Smoking Gun, for exposing the lecherous hypocrisy of Justin Seay you are the Snitch of the Week.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Fuck a OSU!

(OSU girls, really big fans of Kobe Bryant)

Ohio is by far the worst state in our fair Union.

I would like to tell them this in person at their football stadium on Saturday and risk a lynching but those tickets are more expensive than a PS3 right now.

So I'll give some proof in case you don't believe me for some reason. Recall that:

And I think they may have had something to do with the death of the beloved University of Michigan coach Bo Schembechler one day before the UM/OSU game.

For these reasons and others I grant you permission to slap anyone with red or gray on tomorrow as the Wolverines emerge victorious and ignore this entire post if for some reason we don't beat OSU tomorrow.

Go Blue!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Don't Forget Your Library Card, Ever.

You thought the Patriot Act was passed to prevent terrorism?

Hell no, UCLA campus cops needed the authority to tase the fuck out of suspicious Iranians loitering around the library computers researching nuclear secrets and shit.
Or a student who forgot his ID card.

Same difference.

Peep the footage,

We must protect our libraries from the clutches of Islamofacism!
I'm carrying 3 library cards from this day forward.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Daybreak on ABC: Not Bad

Since Lost is trashbags this year the 13-week break that show is taking to allow Taye Diggs to launch his show "Daybreak" is welcome change.

The show is about a detective who is framed for murdering an assistant D.A. and finds the day resets each morning until he figures everything out.

As a black man with a Muslim name who is constantly being watched while on the subways and trains of NYC and whose phone is tapped, or so I like to believe, this is a show I could relate to, despite the fact that the trailers looked bad.

It looked like a mix of the classic "Run Lola Run," "Groundhog Day" and "24" with a splash of chocolate on top.

Not to mention that Denzel has a movie coming about discovering the origin of deja vu called, wait for it... "Deja Vu."

It was Negro Deja Vu overload.

But I figured what the fuck, maybe it'll be good and perhaps I should support a drama with a black lead that wasn't some UPN/WB coonfest.

The last drama with a Negro lead I supported (Showtime's "Sleeper Cell" with Halle Berry's old boy toy, Michael Ealy) was pretty damn great.

It ended up being the best "Choose Your Own Adventure" book I never read.

Shows with their own set of rules and logic that make you wonder what you'd do in that situation tend to resonate with viewers.
You sit there thinking "How the fuck would I get out of this situation?"

That's why joints like "The Shield," "Prison Break," and its ilk have been so successful.
I only wonder if they can hold the idea for 13 episodes or if it should have been shorter.
We'll see.

But towards the end of the episode, another thought came to mind.
Anyone else think all these stories about black men reliving their past is just a larger conspiracy to get America ready for O.J. 's TV special about how he "would" have killed his wife?

Interracial dating took a big enough hit after the O.J. case, we don't need this dude stirring up old memories again.
Be easy, O.J.
Fall back and let me live.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Dutty Wine Does Not Care About Black People

I'm about two weeks late on this one, but the Dutty Wine has finally killed someone.

For those of you not up on West Indian culture, the Dutty Wine is one of those Negro dances (of the Reggae variety) that little jigs tape themselves doing on YouTube instead of doing their homework.

It involves rolling your ass while violently snapping your neck.
Sounds like a winning recipe right?

And it's often done in dance competitions where girls go insane try to out neck-snap each other.
Getting head while driving drunk on your cellphone may actually be safer.

Watch this gay dude kill it (No Cash Money Records,)

And a female do it,

Stay classy Jamaica.

The girl who died doing it was an 18 year-old in a dance competition at 4 A.M. in the morning.
She already had bigger problems than the Dutty Wine.

I know I am going straight to hell for laughing when I read this, but if you break your neck doing a Reggae dance you win a Darwin Award for removing your DNA from the gene pool.

And this quote from the random overly religious Jamaican woman is priceless,

  • "It is a warning to young people that dem mus stop du de Dutty Wine," said one woman who called the incident a curse on the land. "Is like a demon sen' from de pit a hell dat is taking the lives of the youth even before dem have time to repent."

Yes, the devil sent the Dutty Wine from hell to kill the youth.

There is talk of suing the artist, Tony Matterhorn, for the death of the girl.
What's next suing rappers for urban violence?
If Busta didn't get sued for his song "Break Ya Neck," no one is getting sued for this song.

The man made a hot dance track; he didn't force anyone to give themselves whiplash.

I personally thank Tony Matterhorn for cleaning out the gene pool, one dancehall contest at a time.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 11/5 - 11/11 (Dateline)

The week in Snitching:

  • A soldier turned on his boys after getting that federal pressure. It must suck to be one of the few soldiers prosecuted for killing a civilian during war.
    Still, the other soldiers should have known who they were committing war crimes with.

  • The gays are on a closet cleaning rampage. In the last few weeks they outted Lance Bass from N'Sync fame, Doogie Howser M.D., another TV doctor from Gay's Anatomy and most importantly Ted Haggard.
    Outting celebrities seems a little redundant since people assume a certain level of gayness in Hollywood, not to mention it's a bit toothless.
    Pick a target worth a damn. They should go after more Ted Haggard types because those are the people living that lie that deserve to get outted.
    I'm just waiting for the first outted rapper.

Those stories were good and all but the cake taker was NBC Dateline's "To Catch a Predator."
That show is already the pinnacle of Snitching and the person who came up with the idea deserves some sort of lifetime achievement award.

But they took up a notch because they are now killing the perverts they catch.
Or making the pervs kill themselves out of shame.

A district attorney was about to be arrested by authorities in front of NBC's cameras when he took the express checkout line out of life. I don't think they caught the suicide on camera.

I think the unabashed voyeurism of the show is a disconcerting for some. Someone I know once told me they almost felt bad for the guys who got caught, more because of the public shaming angle than them being a pervert. And I can almost see where they are coming from.

Regardless of how NBC does it, the people they bust deserve to be put on blast in the worst way possible and since they helped clear up the court calendar a little bit on this one, NBC Dateline is the Snitch of the Week.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Shake Your Ass, Save The World.

This Arab girl shaking her ass might very well save the world.
If we can elect a Muslim to Congress then we can get those Al-Qaeda fools some lap dances.
Everyone knows that is the solution to the War on Terror.

The one on the right is that deal.

Shake what Mohammad gave ya!
For the sake of humanity.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Lily Allen Broke Me Down

Last year it was M.I.A. that had half the hipsters in love and the other half calling Homeland Security.
This year it's Lily Allen.

Lily Allen, the U.K. indie popstress and MySpace heroine who sampled her way to success this year will see the U.S. release of her album in January 2007.

It was funny that I found the above link blowing up all her samples because one of my boys recently mentioned to me how great the production was.

Then I found out most of her album sales will be going to Trojan Records sample department.

I'm not hating on sampling, because it does take skill but I'm always disappointed when I find out how unoriginal new music is.

Regardless, her album, "Alright, Still" is one of the happiest and most bitter albums I've heard. I tried to hate on it for a minute but I've given up. You can't fight the production and the cynicism.

Peep the lyric from the song "LDN,"
  • "There was a little old lady, who was walkin down the road
    She was struggling with bags from Tesco
    There were people from the city having lunch in the park
    I believe that it's called al fresco
    Then a kid came along to offer a hand

    But before she had time to accept it
    hits her over the head, doesn't care if she's dead
    Cause he's got all her jewelery and wallet"

Here's the song,

Lily Allen - "LDN"

DL link.

Peep the original.

Tommy McCook - "Reggae Merengue"

DL link.

And she dropped two mixtapes to keep you busy in case you stole her album off the Internets before it came out.

Yes, even white girls are putting out mixtapes nowadays.

Download Mixtape #1

Download Mixtape #2

If you can't play the MP3s or download the links you need Firefox.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

If Michigan Doesn't Want Affirmative Action, They Can't Have "Brooklyn Style" Pizza

I tried not to write about Affirmative Action again but I couldn't resist.

Ann Arbor, Michigan based Domino Pizza just launched their Brooklyn Style Pizza nationwide right around the time Michigan voted to ban Affirmative Action.

Ignoring the fact that I have no idea what the fuck a Brooklyn Style pizza is and I have lived in Brooklyn and eaten its pizzas for over two decades, why is a Michigan company using NYC's ethnically varied image to sell its bullshit pizzas?

Their bullshit ad campaign consists of a website with a bunch of stereotypes straight out of a deleted scene from a 1990's Spike Lee movie.
As the Times explains, you see...
  • An older Italian woman yells out of a brownstone window.

    A man with the look of an extra from “The Sopranos” pumps iron on the roof.

    A Rosie O’Donnell lookalike berates a taxi driver for not folding his slice like a man.

    And there’s an African-American guy. You can’t hear what he’s saying because the rap music pouring from his car speakers is too loud.

They have yellow cabs in Brooklyn?

Domino's founder, Tom Monaghan, is a hardcore right-wing Christian who donates significant amounts of money to the type of Republicans who rally against issues like affirmative action and is in the midst of building his own mini Vatican City in Florida.

I guess diversity is popping when you want to milk one of the most ethnically rich areas in the country to sell your porduct, but not when a University is trying to offset some of the effects of institutional racism and prevent their campus from looking like a recruitment poster for the Aryan race.

Domino's Pizza doesn't care about black people!

- Keeping on the topic of diversity, what is the deal with this Game track with every rapper from North America on it.

How did Ja Rule get on this track?
That's some true affirmative action right there.

The Game - "One Blood Remix" (Featuring Jim Jones, Snoop Dogg, Nas, T.I., Fat Joe, Lil' Wayne, Nore, Jadakiss, Styles P, Fabolous, Juelz Santana, Rick Ross, Twista, Kurupt, Daz, WC, E-40, Bun B, Chamillionaire, Slim Thug, Young Dro, Clipse and Ja Rule)

DL link.

Fuck Politics, It's Celebrity Divorce Time!

Now that the Democrats took the House and the Senate I can focus on important things, like pinpointing the exact moment Britney Spears crushed Kevin Federline's heart.

I normally don't give two shits about this type of nonsense but I have to give props to someone who asks for a divorce with a text message.

Peep the realness,

You can see the exact second his world implodes towards the 1:40 mark of the clip.
Goddamn I am a hater.

And apparently so is B. Spears.
With her two kids and her pre-nup locked down she called Reynolds to wrap that shit up.

After Jessica Simpson almost lost half of her $36 million to Nick Lachey, Britney wasn't about to get got, so to speak.

She's my new hero.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Mike Jones! Who?! Mike Jones!

(Find the gay prostitute here)

This last scandal with Ted Haggard banging a gay prostitute on crystal meth when he wasn't preaching against gays and telling Bush the best strategy to "bun the chi-chi man" was typical closeted clergy behavior, but the best part about it was the fact that his gay prostitute's name was Mike Jones (No Cash Money on the URL.)

And this clip of him from the "Jesus Camp" documentary was pretty great as well.

The 3rd grade logic of "Whoever smelt it, dealt it" applies to the anti-gay crowd at this point.
Anyone who goes on and on about gay people probably thought that Lil Wayne/Baby picture was Kosher.

- Much like I am hater in sports and I mainly cheer for teams to lose, I cheer for people to lose in politics as well.

Now that,

  • Katherine Harris lost in Florida.
  • Rick Santorum lost in Pennsylvania
  • Blackwell lost in Ohio.
  • Lynn Swann lost in Pennsylvania.
  • Michael Steele lost in Maryland.
  • South Dakota's Abortion Referendum got shut down.
  • And a bunch of other Republicans lost,
I hope the Democrats can cockblock Bush until 2008 and that I can stop writing about politics for a while.

The dark lining of the day is that affirmative action got shut down in Michigan and it is probably going to be shut down nationwide.
That issue was the defining focal point of my four years at the University of Michigan and I should probably put together a more passionate write-up about it.

I won't, but I will say this: It's a wrap for black people.

We had about 40 years to get our shit together and now white people are starting to feel like they did enough to even the playing field and they want that college seat back for their child.

Most white people don't want to watch The Wire and if you watch the show you will know by that I mean they don't want to look at the dark ass reality of why black men barely make it to age 25, let alone college and why they need that extra boost.

So it goes.

Anyway, enjoy the comedic stylings of George Dubya Bush. He's much funnier than Kerry.
Besides, I don't see many jokes coming in the next two years.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Vote and Die

Shit is real in the field.

The recent debacle near Herald Square is why 99% of people should never be happy about a good stock market.
On Friday, several thousand people showed up for less than 200 jobs selling Mars Inc. candy in Manhattan, crying in line and receiving summons for disorderly conduct because they were so eager to get a job that pays $4 over the minimum wage.

  • Tamika Jones, 28, a Brooklyn mother of three school-age children, looked at the faces of other disappointed job-seekers and said: “This is what unemployment looks like in New York City. I wanted to cry.”

    Alphonzo Puzie, 31, from the Bronx, used to work in a laundry and is desperate for work. “I was very disappointed,” he said. “It burns the spirit.”

    Many had arranged for baby sitters, traveled from other boroughs and New Jersey, and lined up as early as 1 a.m., only to be told eventually that there were no more jobs being offered that day.

I am far from an anarchist or a communist but I can safely say that Republican capitalism is no joke.

We can't Chicken Noodle Soup our way out of this one.

- If y'all want to read more about how real it is, the NY Times is opening up their Times Select content for free this week.
For all the faults of the Times, they have some good columnists.
I'd recommend Paul Krugman and Nicholas Kristof because they might very well be the two most gully white men in America.
Rappers take notes.

Kristof singlehandedly just convinced me to stop fucking with American girls,

  • Western Europe and Canada both emphasize sex education and family planning programs. The result is that American women are almost three times as likely to get abortions as women in Belgium or Germany. Or take Canada. Among women and girls aged 15 to 19, Americans are 38 percent more likely to get abortions than Canadians. And American teenagers, both boys and girls, are nearly 10 times as likely to catch gonorrhea.

And this column on the real cost of Iraq kind of caught me off guard.

Get 'em while they're free.

- After seeing this new ABC report I think John Kerry's mistaken comment was actually more correct than he realized.

Part 2

That shit is crazy.
The standards for joining the military in November 2006 are about as low as they can get and it's the people on the low end of the recruitment scale that are going to get the attention in Iraq.

Especially now that Saddam is about to get the death penalty.
There won't be anymore entertaining footage from his kangaroo court trial to keep us busy.

Peep the hilarity,

I haven't seen a more ridiculous court situation since Al Pacino in "... And Justice For All."

And the Sunnis and Shiites reacted like Blacks and Whites did when OJ was freed.
Minus the civil war of course.

At least our democracy will turn out better, I think.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Cooning 'Round the World (Europe Edition)

Rap is so popular now that it's only natural that the sambo-like behavior that is so familiar to us in the U.S. rears its head around the world.

First Snoop was banned from British Airways in April and now Kanye decided to show his ass, so to speak, at the MTV EMA show.

YouTube took it down and iFilm still has it up. Sometimes the Internet makes no damn sense.

Here's the video that he lost to,

Not exactly spectacular, but neither was Kanye trying to catch Hepatitis C from Pamela Anderson.
I like white girls as much as the next black man, but kissing Pamela Anderson is not popping in anyone's book.
Did he not see the video?
I'd be a little reluctant to tongue down on that, especially on video.

Here's the video that should always win the European Video Awards as far as I'm concerned,

What gets lost in all of this is the man Kanye stole from , was so inspired by during the making of his last album; Mr. Curtis Mayfield.

I gotta snitch on the Kanye's "Touch the Sky" sample for those who may not know.

That's how you do it in Europe.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Please, No Pictures!

I have no idea why, but someone interviewed me about my blog.
It seems to have worked out O.K.

Thanks to Bhumika at Associated Content.

Let me know what y'all think and what the hell this blog should be about...

- Al-Jazeera wants to launch a station in the U.S. but they can't get any U.S. cable companies to air their channel so they are going to distribute it over the web.

I wonder why.
Who owns the American media?

Like every media outlet out there, Al-Jazeera has their own slant; but it's a slant most of the world has never seen and that we probably need to see more than ever.

I would assume most Americans look at them as the terrorist CNN, which makes it even more ironic that they will be will be broadcasting primarily over the Internet.
Do any major Western news channels do that?

I hope I can say I am interested to see what the hell they are about without getting put on a terrorist watchlist.

If anyone in power cared about what Arabs thought or what was popping in the Middle Eastern streets maybe we wouldn't be in Iraq.

But what do I know.

- Well I know that people should leave their bullshit immigrant traditions at home.
Some fucker from Egypt was convicted of performing a female circumcision on his two year old daughter, in America.

Hopefully someone will give him a female circumcision in prison.

- And this can't be a good idea.

A bunch of blonde-haired, blue-eyed, recessive gene carrying fools who were chosen to start the Nazi party's master race as children are meeting in public.

They claim to be addressing the myths and trauma associated with being part of the chosen Aryan race but I'm not buying it.

I'm too paranoid to get down with that shit.
After all those incidents I read about in Germany leading up to the World Cup they need to break that shit up A.S.A.P.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Now St. Louis, Is Just Like Compton

(Chingy's career is inside.)

New York lost most of its gulliness a while ago.
Shit, we have white boys regularly jumping and killing black men in Brooklyn and white people running us out of Harlem.
I think they may have renamed it Upper Upper Manhattan.

So we are pretty far removed from the dialogue of "Worst American Cities."

You could probably even make a case that the decrease of the murder rate in NYC parallels its decline in the rap world.

We all know hip-hop for better but mostly for worse exports its culture like no other genre.
And if the murder rate is down then what are you exporting?

Well expect a lot more rappers coming out of St. Louis now that their murder rate topped the nation.


Here's the dirty dozen,

1. St. Louis, Missouri
2. Detroit, Michigan
3. Flint, Michigan
4. Compton, California
5. Camden, N.J.

6. Birmingham, AL
Cleveland, OH
8. Oakland, CA
9. Youngstown, OH
10. Gary, IN
11. Richmond, CA
12. Baltimore, MD (Big up The Wire, I don't think they counted Marlowe's bodies yet...)

It was pretty convenient that St. Louis won the murder crown as the St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series.

Byron Crawford and Dallas Penn already covered this coincidence pretty well.

All I have to add is that DJ Quik must have been a psychic in 1992 when he made his slept on classic about how every American city he visited was becoming more and more like Compton and copying the gangsta bullshit they were seeing coming out of L.A. (Ahem, The Gayme, ahem...)

Be proud St. Louis, the way this country is going you won't have the title for long.

DJ Quik - "Jus Lyke Compton"

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Was John Kerry Wrong?

I would call what happened with John Kerry an example of Good Joke Bad Joke but the joke wasn't that good to begin with so let's call it Average Joke/Bad Joke.

Here is what John Kerry was supposed to say,

  • “Do you know where you end up if you don’t study, if you aren’t smart, if you’re intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq. Just ask President Bush.”

And here is what this moron actually said,

  • “You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”

A few missing words change that entire sentence.

Trying to win an election by degrading Bush already lost it for the Democrats once.
Now a botched attempt to insult him blew up right in Kerry's elongated face and now the only thing he has a chance of running for in 2008 is the Boston Marathon.

You can't deny how bad his slip-up looks on paper.

But I'm not running for anything and I don't know anyone in Iraq so I can look at what he said outside of the political/emotional lens.

Isn't it fair to say the majority of soldiers are not that bright?
The psychological profile of the typical soldier isn't a portrait of brilliance.

After a little research I found a report from the Heritage Foundation that states recruitment quality has not decreased.

But the Heritage Foundation is a Republican "think-tank," so make of that what you will.

I also found some real world investigative reports outside the world of number crunching and flexible statistics.

Peep this story,

  • Seventeen-year-old high school journalist and honor student David McSwane is just what Army recruiters are looking for, but he suspected they might be lowering their standards.

    "I wanted to see how far the army would go during a war to get one more soldier," McSwane said.
    So he showed up at a Golden Colorado recruiting office saying he was a dropout.

    No problem, the recruiter said — and told McSwane in a phone call he recorded — to create a fake diploma from a non-existent school.

    "It can be like Faith Hill Baptist School or something — whatever you choose," the recruiter said.

    So McSwane went on-line, got a phony grade transcript and a diploma with the name of the school the recruiter suggested and turned it in.

    Then the high school senior told the recruiter:

    "I have a problem with drugs. I can't kick the habit — just marijuana."

    The recruiter suggested purchasing a detoxification kit.

    "The two times I had the guys use it — it's worked both times. We didn't have to worry about anything," the recruiter said.

And this story,

  • According to statistics obtained by The Associated Press, 3.8 percent of the first-time recruits scored below certain aptitude levels. In previous years, the Army had allowed only 2 percent of its recruits to have low aptitude scores. That limit was increased last year to 4 percent, the maximum allowed by the Defense Department.

    About 17 percent of the first-time recruits, or about 13,600, were accepted under waivers for various medical, moral or criminal problems, including misdemeanor arrests or drunk driving. That is a slight increase from last year, the Army said.

    Of those accepted under waivers, more than half were for "moral" reasons, mostly misdemeanor arrests. Thirty-eight percent were for medical reasons and 7 percent were drug and alcohol problems, including those who may have failed a drug test or acknowledged they had used drugs.


It is any coincidence that the shitbag soldier that raped the 14-year old girl Iraqi girl and then burned her body and killed her family to cover it up was one of the recruits that was granted a moral waiver?

It doesn't exactly sound like they are pulling many valedictorians out there in Baghdad.

Maybe that's why Kerry actually fought in a war and Bush didn't.

Bush's GPA was higher.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 10/29 - 11/04 (Newsman)

It doesn't matter what happens this week.
Tupac and Biggie could team up with Elvis and find Osama Bin Laden and it still wouldn't matter.

This picture is that good.

Random newsman, for ignoring all common sense and reporting this self-incriminating news item you are the Snitch of the Week and maybe even for the month as far as I am concerned.