Sunday, September 30, 2007

Can't Stop Won't Stop: The Rise of Tony Romo

How many quarterbacks could pull that shit off?!
And that's not the first time he's done that either.

I was kind of bummed that Vick had screwed himself out of an NFL season but then I realized that Romo is the white Michael Vick without the animal murdering and with the passing accuracy.

Before the 2007 season kicked off I predicted a 10-6 record for the Cowboys. Then I saw them play.

I still have questions about their secondary and the fact that they tend to sleep through the entire first half of every game but their offense is a god body machine.

I knew Bill Parcells had turned into the Lloyd Carr of the NFL (underutilized offense, playing to not lose, annoying post-game persona and obstinance in the face of change) and was holding the Cowboys back but damn Parcells.

I'm going to up my predication to 13-3.

Jerry Jones, give Tony Romo his goddamn money.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Snitch of the Week: 9/23 - 9/29 (Spielberg Snitch)

(Can you say my bad?)

Some stories just smack you in the face for sheer absurdity.
Peep Tyler Nelson's fuck-up,
  • "Nelson, cast as a dancing Russian soldier, talked to the Edmond Sun in Oklahoma despite having signed a nondisclosure agreement. In response, director Steven Spielberg's spokesman is ominously quoted as saying: "Who knows whether that particular person will ever work in this town again?""
How do you cross Steven Spielberg, the King Jew of Hollywood and expect to live, let alone work in Hollywood again?

He'll be lucky if he can get a job cleaning Port-A-Potty's in Santa Monica.

For fucking the fuck up and achieving new levels of stupidity, Tyler Nelson is the Snitch of the Week.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

The GOP End of Days

(I've been waiting so long to use that image)

When it rains it pours for the GOP...

Not to be outdone by fellow white supremacist Bill O'Reilly's shitstorm, Rush Limbaugh went and stirred up his own.

The drug addict/chicken-hawk called U.S. troops who support withdrawal "phony soldiers."

His comments come right after the NY Times and caught huge backlash over an ad that called General Petrayus, "General Betray Us."

In the spirit of bullshit diversions, our increasingly useless Congress rushed to pass bills condemning the ads. Because you know, mean ads hurt people's feelings.

The real war in Iraq only kills Iraqis and U.S. soldiers...

Let's see if Congress votes to condemn Rush Limbaugh's comments.

In other GOP news:

  • Bill O'Reilly says his words are being taken out of context. What context?

  • Major Republican presidential candidates say fuck you niggers and spics at yet another minority debate. Do Republicans realize that Hispanics and Blacks are the fastest growing populations in this country?

  • Bush needs phonetic cards for his speeches.

    • "The White House was left scrambling to explain after a marked-up draft of Bush's speech popped up briefly on the U.N. Web site as he delivered his remarks, giving a rare glimpse of the special guidance he gets for major addresses.

      It included phonetic spellings for French President Nicolas Sarkozy (sar-KO-zee), a friend, and Zimbabwe leader Robert Mugabe (moo-GAH-bee), a target of U.S. human rights criticism.

      Pronunciations were also provided for Kyrgyzstan (KEYR-geez-stan), Mauritania (moor-EH-tain-ee-a) and the Zimbabwe capital Harare (hah-RAR-ray).

  • Bush can't stop, won't stop, being a fucking retard.

    • As a candidate, George W. Bush once asked, "Is our children learning?"

      Now he has an answer.

      "Childrens do learn," he said Wednesday. As in 9/26/2007.

      The setting was, yes, an education event where the president was taking credit for rising test scores and promoting congressional renewal of his signature education law. To create the right image, the White House summoned the city's chancellor of schools, a principal, some teachers and about 20 eager students from P.S. 76.

  • Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani has been criticised over a fundraising party at which participants are being urged to donate $9.11.

    He claims he didn't organize it, but what does he expect the way he's been pimping 9/11.

Yet Republicans are still neck to neck with most Democrats in the polls. Time to dust off the passport...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Bill O' Reilly: The New Don Imus?

Rat coward Bill O'Reilly is on the hot seat after Media Matters, the same group that got Don Imus, put one of O'Reillys million racist and ignorant comments on blast. The story caught steam and is not getting some heat in the mainstream media.

And like the rat coward he is, he's accusing Media Matters of smearing him.
Peep his comments:

  • O'REILLY: And I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship. It was the same, and that's really what this society's all about now here in the U.S.A. There's no difference. There's no difference. There may be a cultural entertainment -- people may gravitate toward different cultural entertainment, but you go down to Little Italy, and you're gonna have that. It has nothing to do with the color of anybody's skin.

    O'REILLY: You know, and I went to the concert by Anita Baker at Radio City Music Hall, and the crowd was 50/50, black/white, and the blacks were well-dressed. And she came out -- Anita Baker came out on the stage and said, "Look, this is a show for the family. We're not gonna have any profanity here. We're not gonna do any rapping here." The band was excellent, but they were dressed in tuxedoes, and this is what white America doesn't know, particularly people who don't have a lot of interaction with black Americans. They think that the culture is dominated by Twista, Ludacris, and Snoop Dogg.

    WILLIAMS: Oh, and it's just so awful. It's just so awful because, I mean, it's literally the sewer come to the surface, and now people take it that the sewer is the whole story --

    O'REILLY: That's right. That's right. There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, "M-Fer, I want more iced tea."

    WILLIAMS: Please --

    O'REILLY: You know, I mean, everybody was -- it was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all.

This story damn near covers itself. Only in this country could this man have a venue for his nonsense and an audience that follows.

We're getting lessons on respectable social behavior from a man that got hit with a sex harassment suit for trying to fuck a Fox News producer.

From the law suit, and I could not make this up if I tried...

  • "I would take your other hand with the falafel thing and put it on your pussy."

Even I don't know what that is. Does he mean loofah?

Fuck it, I'm not even trying to think of the details of Bill O'Reilly's sex life. Just get that dude off the air. He's deserves the boot more than Imus.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Snitch of the Week: 9/16 - 9/22 (Miss Teen South Carolina)

(Oh white girls, you always win...)

Remember Lauren Caitlin Upton aka Miss Teen South Carolina, who we all got a laugh off of for her "Maps for the Iraq, and um the like because of the South Africans" video?

Guess she got the last laugh

  • The South Carolina beauty queen who suffered a geographic meltdown over "U.S. Americans" during last month's Miss Teen USA pageant can now have the last laugh, with the chance to make up to $25,000 a day as a model for Donald Trump.

    Lauren Caitlin Upton, 18, of Lexington, S.C., reportedly flew to New York City today to begin employment for Trump Model Management.

    The station says she'll live in the Trump Apartments in Manhattan, with potential assignments in faraway places "such as" Milan, Japan and Australia. There was no mention of "the Iraq" or South Africa, two countries Upton dwelt upon in a rambling answer at the pageant.

So she'll be getting:

1) $25,000 a DAY
2) Free room and board in an Manhattan apartment
3) Free international travel

and an opportunity to replace Donald Trump's wife when he's ready for some new white meat?

For dropping the dime on how the world really works for anyone who felt superior to her, Lauren Upton is the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 9/9 - 9/15 (Eric Mangini)

(He did it! Over there!)

I'm torn about Eric Mangini's snitch move against Belichick.

On one hand Belichick is a cheater and the kind of scumbag coach that forces players on the field with concussions. I'm glad to see his ass on the fire.

On the other hand, Mangini was mentored and setup in the NFL with Bellichik, so he knows all of his tricks and probably uses them himself. So it comes off as a sore loser bitch move to drop the dime on Belichick after the Jets got raped by the Patriots. And now he's lost a good deal of respect in the NFL.

If Mangini ever goes to New England, he better bring his boy Tony Soprano with him if he wants to make it back to NY alive.

Mangini, for better of worse, you are the Snitch of the Week.

Friday, September 21, 2007

When Will It End?

(Seriously America, WTF?)

Why is there a cult of personality built around a man whose defining personality trait is being a complete and utter fucking moron.

Fresh on the heels of his Australia debacle,

  • Bush's tongue started slipping almost as soon as he started talking at a business forum on the eve of an Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) summit in Sydney.

    "Mr. Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction," he told Prime Minister John Howard. "Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit."

    As the audience of several hundred people erupted in laughter, Bush corrected himself and joked, "He invited me to the OPEC summit next year." Australia has never been a member of the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries.

    Later in his speech, Bush recounted how Howard had gone to visit "Austrian troops" last year in Iraq. There are, in fact, no Austrian troops there. But Australia has about 1,500 Australian military personnel in and around the country.

    Upon finishing his speech, Bush took the wrong way off-stage and, looking slightly perplexed, had to be re-directed by Howard to a centre-stage exit.

Bush's fucks the fuck up again.

  • In a speech defending his administration's Iraq policy, Bush said former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein's brutality had made it impossible for a unifying leader to emerge and stop the sectarian violence that has engulfed the Middle Eastern nation.

    "I heard somebody say, Where's Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas," Bush, who has a reputation for verbal faux pas, said in a press conference in Washington on Thursday.

    Jailed for 27 years for fighting white minority rule, Mandela became South Africa's first black president in 1994. He won a Nobel Peace Prize for preaching racial harmony and guiding the nation peacefully into the post-apartheid era.

    References to his death -- Mandela is now 89 and increasingly frail -- are seen as insensitive in South Africa.


I mean really? Seriously!?

The dollar is at record lows, oil is at record highs.
I feel sorry for whoever gets this shit pile in 2009.

Peep the video,

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Black People Lose, Part 2

(Please arrest me.)

Every so often the cosmic stars align and a torrent of Negro Nonsense just makes me pause and shake my damn head.

It's time for Part 2 of Black People Lose.

Who is the top coon in today's Negro flood?

1. Sixty-year old OJ Simpson committing armed robbery? I mean come on...

2. Isiah Thomas stating that it's OK for a black man to call a woman a bitch but not for a white man while he's on trial for calling a black woman at bitch?

3. Or this dumb bitch Sherri Shepherd from "The View" (Isiah said I could say it) stating she doesn't know if the world is flat?

Can you believe there is a show where this is a real conversation and this fool gets paid to say this shit?

When the Indians and Chinese take over the world, I hope they are nice to us while we continue to debate evolution and the shape of the earth...

And it ain't just the Negroes fucking up. Don't get it twisted.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Is It Wrong To Teach the Police Ebonics?

I need some guidance y'all.

Is this racist or informative? (Correct link to a police written Ebonics guide from Smoking Gun.)

  • A crude "ghetto handbook" distributed to police patrolling Houston's public schools has resulted in the suspension of one officer. The eight-page booklet--a copy of which you'll find below--was handed out in May by a officer with the city's Independent School District, but did not come to the attention of school brass until recently, when a discrimination complaint was lodged. The booklet, which was given to about 20 cops, is subtitled "Wucha dun did now?," and purports to help the reader "learn to speak ebonics as if you just came out of the hood...because you could find you self with a problem one day and ebonics could save your life." The booklet offers definitions for street slang like "hoodrat" ("scummy girl") and "foty" (a 40-ounce bottle of beer) and concludes with a "poem" that quotes Big L.

Granted, the cop is being cute with this handout. But is he wrong? And should he have been suspended for trying to arm his fellow officers with the language of the street?

(I can't tell if the cop was black or white, but if he was white and he quoted Big L's "Ebonics" he should get a medal for having his finger on the pulse of the black community, not a suspension.)

If you've been near public transportation when school lets out, you've seen the jungle that ensues and non-English that is spoken, especially in the South.

Between Soulja Boy's "Crank Dat" and the "A Bay Bay's" it's hard to keep up with today's up and coming jig.

Look at the picture below,

Cops need a guide to understand this shit because I don't.
Are these jigs :

A) Going to volunteer at the local church
B) Responding the HBO's open call for "The Wire" or
C) Trying to get their Larry Craig on outside the bathroom stall.

I'm trying not to become a grumpy ass Bill Cosby type Negro in my young age, but I really don't get this shit.

Hip-hop culture flaunts it's hyper-masculinity and heterosexuality while dismissing all things remotely gay with a "No homo" yet the standard bearers of the culture walk around with showing more ass than the back of the Village Voice.

That's why I'm not even upset with the fact that baggy pants that are under your ass will now be illegal.

The jigs who wear their pants like that shouldn't be mad either.
Pants under the ass is just prison culture seeping through the civilian culture which now takes you right back to prison.

It's the circle of life, inner city style.

And besides they're already used to their pants being under their ass. The transition to prison bitch is suddenly a lot smoother.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Snitch of the Week: 9/2 - 9/8 (Vanity Fair)

(Limousine liberals can't complain about Bush...)

The older I get the further I get from my youthful naive affection of the NY Times.

This article from Vanity Fair (long and really worth the time) details the absolutely deplorable kid gloves the media handled Bush with in 2000 and how George Bush ended up being sold as the political equivalent of Al Gore. George Bush is not the same as Al Gore. Joey from Straight Bangin' agrees.

And these are "lefty" papers like the Washington Post and the NY Times doing this shit.

Media coverage of presidential candidates has never been more relevant as the 2008 Election swings around and hucksters like Fred Thompson, Mitt Romney, Giuliani, and even Hillary all step up to the plate and try to sell stories and looks instead of ideas.

  • As the Daily Howler noted, MSNBC anchor Brian Williams went after Gore's clothes at least five times in one week. "Here is a guy taking off his suits.… This is the casual sweater look—what's going on here?" … "He would have been in a suit a month ago." … "He's wearing these polo shirts that don't always look natural on him." Williams's frequent guest Newsweek's Howard Fineman later chimed in: "I covered his last presidential campaign, in 1988. One day he was in the conservative blue suit, the next he was playing lumberjack at the V.F.W. hall in New Hampshire."

    And Gore just kept going on about issues. Alluding to five speeches he made in two months on education, crime, the economy, faith-based organizations, and cancer research, Seelye wrote, "Mr. Gore becomes almost indignant when asked if his avalanche of positions might overwhelm voters." The Washington Post's David Broder later found Gore too focused in his convention speech on what he'd do as president. "But, my, how he went on about what he wants to do as president," wrote Broder. "I almost nodded off." As for the environment, while Gore was persuaded by his consultants not to talk about it as much as he would have liked, whenever he did, many in the media ignored it or treated it as comedy. Dowd wrote in one column that "Al Gore is so feminized and diversified and ecologically correct, he's practically lactating." In another, referring to his consideration of putting a Webcam in the Oval Office, she wrote, "I have zero desire to see President Gore round the clock, putting comely interns to sleep with charts and lectures on gaseous reduction."


Look, Gore ran a horrible campaign, I will always admit that, but the media handed Bush the presidency (that he actually lost in the popular vote) in 2000.

The media coverage had this basic theme,

"Stupid ass Gore wants to discuss issues, but I want him to charm me and be my friend. Frat-boy Bush is funny! Here take the presidency!"

That turned out well huh?!

  • Maureen Dowd boiled the choice between Gore and Bush down to that between the "pious smarty-pants" and the "amiable idler," and made it perfectly clear which of the presidential candidates had a better chance of getting a date. "Al Gore is desperate to get chicks," she said in her column. "Married chicks. Single chicks. Old chicks. Young chicks. If he doesn't stop turning off women, he'll never be president."

    "I bet he is in a room somewhere right now playing Barry White CDs and struggling to get mellow," she wrote in another.

    Meanwhile, though Dowd certainly questioned Bush's intellect in some columns, she seemed to be charmed by him—one of the "bad boys," "rascals," and a "rapscallion." She shared with the world a charged moment between them. "'You're so much more mature now,' I remarked to the Texas Governor. 'So are you,' he replied saucily." And in another column: "You don't often get to see a Presidential candidate bloom right before your eyes."

Bush bloomed alright...

Vanity Fair, for calling out the myth of liberal media, Maureen Dowd and her ilk's disgraceful political coverage, you are the Snitch of the Week.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Snitch of the Week: 8/26 - 9/1 (Mother Theresa)

How perfect is it that we found about Mother Teresa's atheism (shorter link) shortly after the great Ingmar Bergman's death? (Watch Seventh Seal, if you're not up on Bergman.)

Apparently Teresa wasn't gleefully handing out bread and Bibles while collecting souls for Christ, it seems more like she was depressed as hell and writing letters that sound like Bergman dialogue.

  • "I am told God lives in me -- and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul," she wrote in one of the letters.

Damn Mother Teresa, lemme find out you were ghostwriting for Bergman.

Her doubt is interesting in the fact that it questions the idea of faith and how religious people who are in power address their doubts.

She sure as hell is not the first closet atheist chilling in a religious organization.
Is that what fuels zealots? Overcompensation because of doubt?
Worth a thought.

For infiltrating the Catholic Church and dropping the dime on God, Mother Teresa is the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 8/19 - 8/25 (Gov't Whistleblowers)

Peep this article about America's retaliation against whistleblowers exposing American government corruption.

It's hard to hold onto any semblance of national pride when reading shit like this. It's also easy to understand Mos Def's skepticism (which I dismissed) about "The War on Terror."

  • For daring to report illegal arms sales, Navy veteran Donald Vance says he was imprisoned by the American military in a security compound outside Baghdad and subjected to harsh interrogation methods.

    There were times, huddled on the floor in solitary confinement with that head-banging music blaring dawn to dusk and interrogators yelling the same questions over and over, that Vance began to wish he had just kept his mouth shut.

    He had thought he was doing a good and noble thing when he started telling the FBI about the guns and the land mines and the rocket-launchers - all of them being sold for cash, no receipts necessary, he said. He told a federal agent the buyers were Iraqi insurgents, American soldiers, State Department workers, and Iraqi embassy and ministry employees.

    The seller, he claimed, was the Iraqi-owned company he worked for, Shield Group Security Co.

    "It was a Wal-Mart for guns," he says. "It was all illegal and everyone knew it."

    So Vance says he blew the whistle, supplying photos and documents and other intelligence to an FBI agent in his hometown of Chicago because he didn't know whom to trust in Iraq.

    For his trouble, he says, he got 97 days in Camp Cropper, an American military prison outside Baghdad that once held Saddam Hussein, and he was classified a security detainee.

Sweet. We're torturing U.S. citizens.

As our country's infrastructure falls apart, metaphorically and literally, it's hard to stomach the bottomless pit of unregulated money that has been wasted over there.

  • Corruption has long plagued Iraq reconstruction. Hundreds of projects may never be finished, including repairs to the country's oil pipelines and electricity system. Congress gave more than $30 billion to rebuild Iraq, and at least $8.8 billion of it has disappeared, according to a government reconstruction audit.

How do you lose nearly $9 billion?
You don't, you just make sure the people who know where it went stay quiet.

Apparently the hood motto of "Stop Snitching" has its beginnings a little higher up the ladder, you just don't see Cheney wearing the t-shirt.

For trying to bust up the sweet gravy train that the Iraq War has created for the Bush crew, the government whistleblowers are the Snitch of the Week.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

There Are No Words For This

I really think this is real...

May the Lesser Evil Win: Kanye/50 Showdown

(Click to enlarge)

Kanye may be a petulant little bitch, but I'm stilling riding with him to outsell Fiddy Sent on this 9/11 release week.

Based on the iTunes sales Kanye is #2, right behind the daughter of Fleetwood Mac's producer.
Curtis is at #9.

Peep Pitchfork's ethering of 50 Cent,

  • In this week's Rolling Stone feature on 50 Cent, the rapper claims, "I'm King Kong. Kanye is human. Humans run when they see King Kong, because they're scared." He's right. Hulking, inelegant, and hopelessly primitive, 50 Cent is hip-hop's doomed beast. On Curtis, he sets out to re-energize his base by reminding us of his strengths: He fucks and kills with ease, he needs five deposit envelopes every time he hits up an ATM, and he's a hit with the ladies. But, as Greene makes clear, there's no depth or dynamic to that kind of perfection-- it's like watching a big dildo machine make big dildos all day. While 50 never made a habit of flaunting his faults like Kanye (or Em or Big or 2Pac…), he could usually back up his tales with indelible beats, swaggering hooks, and a flow that slithered like original sin. But those once-bountiful gifts are all heavily downgraded-- or altogether absent-- on Curtis.

Granted digital sales cater to a different demographic, but this is still a good indicator that Kanye will end 50 Cent's career.

My prediction is

Kanye (Graduation) - 550K - 600K

50 Cent (Curtis) - 400K - 450K

Mark my words. If I'm wrong I'll just edit my guess.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Cornell West and Mos Def on HBO with Bill Maher

Pretty passionate, funny and aggravating at the same time.

I got some thoughts on this, but I'll have to come back on it later.
Peep game,

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

If these get pulled, DL the torrent here.


Go Cowboys!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

To Those Who Paid $600 for the iPhone...

$200 price drop in 2 months. Take that early adopters!

Steve Jobs is the P.T. Barnum of the 21st century, but that doesn't stop me from wanting that iPod Touch for Jesus' BDay.

Anyone want to slide one out the back of Best Buy for me?

Monday, September 03, 2007

Thank You Appalachian Mountaineers

I am still retching from the shame of my alma mater, the University of Michigan, losing to a school that admitted Miss Teen North Carolina to their freshman class. You all know who I am talking about.

This retard,

How many dudes are waiting for that to show up campus?

I don't blog about sports but Lloyd Carr needs to go. He's a coach from the era of leather helmets and black and white photographs.

He is confused everytime he sees a black quarterback tuck the ball and run. I'm pretty sure he thinks that's against the rules. It's we had to get shamed like this, but hopefully this gets Carr the fuck out of Ann Arbor.

When I can stand up or look any other Division IA alumnus in the face again I will resume the blogging.

At least I have the Cowboys fucking up the Giants on Sunday night to look forward.