Thursday, August 31, 2006

YouTube Round-Up

I found Conan's opening sequence form the 2006 Emmy's. If I would have known, I would have just watched this.

Part 1

Part 2

And I found out that Conan spoke at my old high school's commencement speech this year. Don't be surprised, Bill Clinton spoke at the school after 9/11. Rich schools are the truth.

Why did no one tell me about Clell Tickle?
He is the goddamn Suge Knight of Indie Rock!

And I have to post this before it gets any older.
This may quite possibly be the greatest music video ever.

That is all, carry on.

Snitch of the Week: 8/13 - 8/19 (Wal-Mart Negro)

Andrew Young, former mayor of Atlanta, and head Negro in charge of brainwashing black people into loving Wal-Mart, got a little too real in an interview with an African-American newspaper and had to bite the bullet to keep the heat off of Wal-Mart.

He was quoted as saying that Jewish, Arab and Korean shop owners had “ripped off” urban communities for years, “selling us stale bread, and bad meat and wilted vegetables" and that Wal-Mart “should” displace mom-and-pop stores in urban neighborhoods.

He added,

  • “You see those are the people who have been overcharging us,” he said of the owners of the small stores, “and they sold out and moved to Florida. I think they’ve ripped off our communities enough. First it was Jews, then it was Koreans and now it’s Arabs... Almost everyone who has come into my community has moved in, made money and moved out and moved up,” he said. “That process is still continuing.”

As a resident of the Black community who almost had to flip a Korean store owner or two in his life, this guy ain't really lying. I'm too young to have caught the Jewish wave of store owners, they're long gone, but I grew up in the middle of the Asian wave and it's safe to say that they didn't have much love for the blacks.

Now that the Asians are starting to bounce, the Arabs have been passed the reigns and they aren't exactly a part of the Negro fan club either. But the real shit is that Negroes aren't a part of their own fan club. Blacks have a long habit of undermining other business minded negroes to the benefit of whatever new minority groups are on the come-up.

I guess mentioning that bit was too much reality for one interview. But for calling out what he did, Andrew Young is the Snitch of the Week.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Third World Humor

(Return of the Haitian iPod!)

- If you're illegally siphoning gas from a government pipeline you probably shouldn't spark your lighter.
Silly Iraqis!

- The NY Times has video footage of Chechen police officers playing soccer with a rebel's head.
Joga Bonito!

With news so pleasant, it's hard to figure out why more people don't keep up with current events.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 8/6 - 8/12 (ID Theft)

I stole this from my boy because it's just too damn good.

Maria Bergan was arrested for identity theft and receiving stolen property. She got caught when she was being carded by a waitress, Bergan used the I.D. she had stolen, which happened to be the I.D. of the waitress she was being served by.
My bad.

I love it when people snitch on themselves. It makes this so easy and that much more fun.

Maria Bergan, for your reckless identity theft, self snitching and possible meth addiction (meth addicts are pretty much responsible for identity theft) you are the Snitch of the Week.

Monday, August 28, 2006

The 2006 Emmy Awards: Eva Wins

(Keep right...)

I had no intentions of watching the Emmy Awards until I realized that Conan O'Brien was going to host the show a few weeks ago.

I decided I could ignore the snub of The Shield to watch Conan make an ass of himself for a few hours.

Like all awards shows it was too long and Conan, the only reason the show was worth watching, wasn't on enough, but his opening sequence was on point.

I'd put up a link if I could find one. But he basically wandered into all of the major shows, one after another, then made fun of the major stars in a monologue and did a musical number about how screwed NBC is in the ratings.

No one does self-depreciation like Conan O'Brien.

Other things worth noting,

- Eva Longoria remains the truth.

- 24 is not the best drama and Kiefer Sutherland, no matter how many people he tortures, is not the best male actor in a dramatic series.

- The "My Name is Earl" writer, who thanked all the people who didn't help him win his award is my new hero.

- These shows need to be two hours.

- Six Feet Under got robbed. The list of robbers and robbees is here.

I'm done with award shows for a minute.
Unless I'm invited or get a tax-free Emmy gift bag like the one they got this year which included a,
  • Five-day stay at Old Bahama Bay on Grand Bahama Island, plus access to all water sports;
  • One-year bicoastal membership to the Sports Club/LA (which, contrary to its name, has locations in San Francisco, Miami, New York and various other hotspots);
  • Sprint Fusic mobile phone, retails for $329;
  • Two nights at the US Grant in San Diego, including spa treatments;
  • One-year bicoastal membership to YogaWorks;
  • Five-day golf or ski getaway at the Adara Hotel in Whistler;
  • Six days at the Wharekauhau Country Estate in Featherston, New Zealand;
  • Four days at the Dolphin Bay Hotel & Residences in Pismo Beach, California;
  • Six days at The Lodge at Molokai Ranch on Molokai, Hawaii;
  • Babystyle gift card, Lulu the Lamb original stuffed kids' chair and personal shopping consult;
  • Gift certificate for two-day "Emmy Crush Camp" wine appreciation at the Napa Valley Hotel;
  • Food & wine pairing for six people from the Crustacean Restaurant in Beverly Hills;
  • Spa gift certificate and products from Fresh;
  • Gingi skincare products;
  • Ike Behar silk tie, button-down shirt and lapis cufflinks;
  • Morton's Steakhouse gift certificate (last year's was for $1,500);
  • String of pearls from Pearl Paradise;
  • Prive Salon and Ona Spa gift certificate;
  • Dooney & Bourke leather roller luggage;
  • "365 Days of Dove" chocolate assortment;
  • Gift certificate for linens from DreamSleep Studio;
  • Instructions on how to donate gowns, tuxes and other Emmy goodies to the Clothes Off Our Back Foundation to benefit relief efforts in Darfur, Sudan, the Children's Defense Fund and Cure Autism Now.

I'll stick to watching the actual shows.
I mean The Wire is coming back for Christ's sake.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 7/30 - 8/5 (Mel Gibson)

(Really into this season of Survivor.)

Mel Gibson got drunk and told the world what he thought of Jewish people and then tried to apologize for it by blaming it on the tequila.
Everyone knows alcohol can generate sudden hatred for ethnic groups...

I'm sure his anti-Semetic rant had nothing to do with the fact that his father is a Holocaust denier and that he is a psycho-Christian who blames Jews for the death of Jesus.

Mel Gibson, for snitching on yourself you are of course, the Snitch of the Week.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 7/23- 7/29

This is relatively old by now but it's worth knowing.
There is something called a bump key that allows any scrub to open 90% of locks quickly.

As someone who has, uh, opened locks for friends, I might look into this a little more, for purely investigative purposes of course.

Shady Europeans, for your exposure of this faulty security technique, you are the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 7/16- 7/22

(The truth?! You can't handle the truth!
What else do you say at a military trial?)

Ehren Watada is
the first commissioned officer to publicly refuse deployment to the war in Iraq. He caught the 9-11 bug like many others woh volunteered after the attacks and even paid $800 on a test to prove to the military that his asthma wasn't serious.

But unlike most soldiers, he can read or at least decided to exercise his ability to read, and after researching
International Law and the history of Iraq, as well as articles by scholars and governmental and non-governmental agencies about the pretext and build-up of the war he decided he didn't want to die so Halliburton's stock could go up.
Not to mention soldiers coming home told him they may have committed war crimes while in Iraq.

He told his commanding officer that he wasn't going and
he volunteered for the war in Afghanistan instead and the Army refused. The Army then offered him a staff position away from combat to keep him quiet but he didn't take it.
He has been formally charged
with contempt towards President Bush, conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman, and missing movement for which he may get 7 years.

Peep his site here and his Wikipedia page here.

Ehren Watada, for your inquisitive nature and gulliness in the face of military prison you are the Snitch of the Week.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Deadwood Pancakes

For all the Deadwood fans out there, or anyone who has even seen the show.

And Ricky Gervais of Office (UK) fame made two fake promotional videos for Microsoft UK that leaked online.


And Two:

The Office (UK) needs to go back in my DVD player.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Survivor: Apartheid Edition

Survivor is segregating contestants into four racial groups for its newest season.
Blacks, Whites, Latinos and Asians (are those all the races?) will square off in the ultimate death match which will decide which race will rule all of Earth, once and for all. Or they will probably just split some monetary prize.

I've never watched an episode of Survivor before but you can be damn sure that I'll be tuned in on September 14th when it starts off.
Will the biggest drama between the races or within the races themselves?
Will the light skinned Blacks get along with the dark skinned ones?
This has to be good.

- There is Prison Break on Fox where you always come out on top,

And then there is Prison Break in real life, where you get shot in your back.

If only the guy who got shot could have known that before he tried to escape.

- And in lesser news, the entire solar system we exist in has been reinvented. Pluto got booted from the planetary club and now we're rocking 8 planets.

Watch your back Neptune...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Black People Miss Slavery

Life got me for a minute but I'm back and there's no time to waste because little Black kids are sambo dancing for fun.

I saw this shit a minute ago but I ignored it because it looked so damn ignorant.

Now I find out it is an actual "song" with a music video to match that has some degree of popularity.

Why are little Black kids sambo dancing?
What the fuck is a chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side?

I would like this to be the devious plan of a devious white CEO somewhere but I doubt it.
Some Black people just have no self-awareness and have decided that sambo dancing would be the next hot thing in the clubs.

All that's missing is the watermelon with the cotton field in the background and this would be an advertisement for slavery.
Blackface on black people, that's the next trend. Remember who told you this first.

- In regards to racial awareness and sensitivity, I recently had an Internet stalker named email me about the word nigger.

Here was his email,

  • I can see that you are still clueless. Realization has yet to set in on you. Let me help you out: What other ethnic race uses a despicable, derogatory term to describe itself, AND think that somehow it is OK? In and outside of the US other races of people cannot understand why we lag so far behind, why we have yet to make a sustained impact on this society, why our accomplishments are measured in a few rather than the many. Just part of the problem is the mind set of people like your author of "Nigger" and yourself who just can seem to get beyond that tragic word and its usage. You are right about one thing though, I am smart and I am educated, my role models are those of our race that have come before "up from slavery" and recognized what a growing number of African-Americans already know. We are a great people when we put our MINDS to it. Give that some thought, who knows the light might turn on for you as well.


    We are African-Americans, not NIGGERS!. Wake up, grow up.
He sent more, if anyone cares I will post it.
I don't know where the hell that came from or who this guy is but it is clear that some black people are sensitive to race issues. But I guess he thought that emailing me, anonymous blogger #5484958 would really end the use of the word "nigger" or any of its variations and that was the most important issue facing black people today...

Anyhows, my boy set up a Yahoo! Photo Gallery with a "Nigger of the Day" theme outlining the most ignorant behavior in all races each day. Shit is hilarious.

So I'd like to post the link to it in honor of my anonymous stalker.

Definition of a Nigger

Help fight Niggerdom in all its forms, even if it's in a dance called the "Chicken Noodle Soup."