Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Dutty Wine Does Not Care About Black People

I'm about two weeks late on this one, but the Dutty Wine has finally killed someone.

For those of you not up on West Indian culture, the Dutty Wine is one of those Negro dances (of the Reggae variety) that little jigs tape themselves doing on YouTube instead of doing their homework.

It involves rolling your ass while violently snapping your neck.
Sounds like a winning recipe right?

And it's often done in dance competitions where girls go insane try to out neck-snap each other.
Getting head while driving drunk on your cellphone may actually be safer.

Watch this gay dude kill it (No Cash Money Records,)

And a female do it,

Stay classy Jamaica.

The girl who died doing it was an 18 year-old in a dance competition at 4 A.M. in the morning.
She already had bigger problems than the Dutty Wine.

I know I am going straight to hell for laughing when I read this, but if you break your neck doing a Reggae dance you win a Darwin Award for removing your DNA from the gene pool.

And this quote from the random overly religious Jamaican woman is priceless,

  • "It is a warning to young people that dem mus stop du de Dutty Wine," said one woman who called the incident a curse on the land. "Is like a demon sen' from de pit a hell dat is taking the lives of the youth even before dem have time to repent."

Yes, the devil sent the Dutty Wine from hell to kill the youth.

There is talk of suing the artist, Tony Matterhorn, for the death of the girl.
What's next suing rappers for urban violence?
If Busta didn't get sued for his song "Break Ya Neck," no one is getting sued for this song.

The man made a hot dance track; he didn't force anyone to give themselves whiplash.

I personally thank Tony Matterhorn for cleaning out the gene pool, one dancehall contest at a time.


  1. "It is a warning to young people that dem mus stop du de Dutty Wine"
    Harsh but fair.

  2. I guess somebody had to snap their neck before people saw the danger.

    So it goes.

  3. Wow, history sure does repeat itself. People were snapping off body parts back in the 80's when they were trying to spin on their heads. Everyone who saw Electric Boogaloo suddenly thought they could jam. Stick to the Electric Slide, people.

  4. Im going to hell right along with ya, so it appears. LOL

  5. I don't know... sounds a little urban legend-ish to me. Especially given that this story sounds very similar to the "girl dies doing the 'Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It' dance" rumor:


  6. Nah, it's real.

    Search "Dutty Wine dead" or "dutty wine death" and you will see plenty of articles in the Jamaican newspapers.

    Sadly funny, but real.

  7. Alriiiiight?! Just came across your blog, thought I'd say hello before I leave...

    That video of that lil white boy... O Lord help me! There ARE NO WORDS, to hell with dutty wine, I think I might snap something in a minute from LAUGHING SO MUCH! I NEVER in a MILLION YEARS would've thought that I'd come across something like that!

    Bless you, you made my day!

    x mwah x