Thursday, April 27, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 4/16 - 4/22

(Ctrl + H. Browser history is a bitch)

I was going to give some shine to Mary McCarthy, the woman who was fired from the CIA for leaking information about a secret network of prison centers the CIA maintained throughout Eastern Europe.
I'm going to take a guess here and say the prisoners weren't Christian and that they probably did not receive massages.

But now she is denying that she was the Snitch in the case, so I'm taking away her Snitch of the Week before I give it away.

Instead it goes to another woman, who has spit that vengeful divorced woman fire like no other I've seen.

Denise Richards, has eaten Charlie Sheen's food in her divorce filing. She alleges that her estranged husband is unstable, violent, addicted to gambling and prostitutes, and visits pornographic web sites featuring young men and girls who appear underage.

From the Smoking Gun article,

  • Richards's declaration, filed in support of her request for a restraining order against Sheen, contends that Sheen "belonged" to "disturbing" sites "which promoted very young girls, who looked underage to me with pigtails, braces, and no pubic hair performing oral sex with each other." Other sites visited by Sheen, Richards alleges, involved "gay pornography also involving very young men who also did not look like adults."

  • Richards goes on to allege that Sheen has become physically and verbally abusive and has threatened to kill her or have her killed. She even alleges that Sheen made thinly veiled threats both against their two daughters and her parents. Richards says that Sheen, who accidentally shot his previous fiancé, Kelly Preston (John Travolta's wife,) wanted to place firearms under their living room coffee table to protect them if they happened to be surprised by intruders.

  • To illustrate Sheen's volcanic temper and abusive language, Richards's court filing includes transcripts of six phone messages he allegedly left her last April, while she was pregnant with the couple's second daughter. In one call, Sheen says, "You're a coward and a liar and a fucking nigger alright so fuck you."

Denise Richards is a nigger?!
Holy shit!

Maybe I should give this one to Charlie Sheen for that revelation?

Na, Denise wins this one.

Denise Richards, for your detailed evidence keeping, public evisceration of Charlie Sheen and possible negro DNA (although I doubt it,) you are the Snitch of the Week.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

What did I tell y'all?

(I run rap)

Taking advantage of Osama's weakness in the streets, Zarqawi dropped his own mixtape to squash all of Bin Laden's hype.
Zarqawi is still in the hood. Where is Osama?
Who are the impressionable jihadi youth going to listen to?
The Arab Ja Rule or the 50 Cent of this shit?

Peep the fire*, Zarqawi is spitting at Bush in relation to the increase in military suicides,

  • "Why don't you tell people that your soldiers are committing suicide, taking drugs and hallucination pills to help them sleep?"

He is even stealing Osama's video style according to BBC,

  • Parts of the video show the bearded insurgent dressed in black with an assault rifle beside him - the same posture adopted by Osama Bin Laden in many of his videos.
"You made it a hot verse, I made it a hot song" anyone?

Dear NSA and CIA,
Start Snitching and the Human Resource do not support terrorism. All writings are feeble attempts at satire and an effort to chronicle the media savvy of modern terrorists as well as the tangential connection to rap music.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 4/9 - 4/15

(Hey, whatcha doing?)

Mark Klein, a retired AT & T technician, has confirmed what I have known since I tried on my first tinfoil hat as a youth.
The government is spying on me.

The Electronic Frontier Foundation is suing AT & T for cooperating with the NSA and providing open access to customer's phone calls as well as allowing customer's Internet traffic to be mined and monitored.

According to the article, an NSA agent showed up at Klein's San Fran job in 2002 to interview a technician for a special job and then in January 2003, Klein saw a new room being built next to the equipment that routes long distance and international calls. He then found out that the person who was interviewed for the secret job was the person installing the equipment the room. The regular technician work force was not allowed in the room.

"Um, hey Mark, go grab a bagel while these large men in dark suits install these mysterious machines in this guarded room you can't go in."

Noticing that the abovee situation was rather sketchy, he saved a few company documents and dropped the dime on his company by passing on those documents to the EFF after they filed their lawsuit.

Klein came forward because he believed that the wiretapping and surveillance Bush has been illegally conducting, went further than dirty A-rabs talking to their terrorist family members overseas and in fact extends to a larger populoation of Americans than indicated.

Mark Klein, for your keen eye and ability to rise above the company man mentality, you are the Snitch of the Week.

The drama king Osama

Osama Bin Laden secretly wants to be a rapper. You can tell by the timing of his terrorist tapes. He dropped his last tape right when the Cam'ron / Jay-Z beef was brewing.
And he took that off the radar with the quickness.

Now, a short while after MTV's bullshit top ten rappers of all time list was released, he comes with the newest addition to his series, that literally has set the world on fire.

But apparently the streets aren't really checking for Osama like they used to.

Sudan, which was a former home of Bin Laden was quoted as saying, "Ever since Osama left the hood, he's been spitting that flossy global shit that I can't really get into."

Hamas said, "Bin Laden? His early shit is classic but I don't really feel his new stuff anymore."

It's sad when you lose touch with your core audience. Except him to call out Zarqawi on his next tape to get some buzz going in the streets.


In other Iraqi news, the seldom heard from population of gay Muslims is suffering silently in the post-Saddam regime.
If there is one place in the world where you should repress your homosexuality, it is post-Saddam Iraq.
When straight Muslims can't stay alive, surely gay Muslims must realize their chances are a little worse than par.
They'd be better off in Jamaica, the way things are looking.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 4/2 - 4/8

(Walking fish!!! Run for your Bibles!!!)

Science really kicked religion's ass in this week.

Since I'm late with this, let me sum up the ways quickly.

First, a fossil was found that linked legless fishies to landlubber upright walkers.

Second, a medical study proved that praying doesn't heal people.

From the article,

  • "Prayers offered by strangers had no effect on the recovery of people who were undergoing heart surgery, a large and long-awaited study has found.

    And patients who knew they were being prayed for had a higher rate of post-operative complications like abnormal heart rhythms, perhaps because of the expectations the prayers created, the researchers suggested."

Third, a professor who has scientifically explained some other biblical miracles, explained that Jesus' miracle of walking on water may have been due to unique ice patterns in the Middle East around Jesus time.

Fourth, Jesus was found to have told Judas to snitch on him in order to kick start his crucifixion.
It makes the notion of Jesus fake walking on water a little more believable, since Jesus seems to be pretty good in the whole foresight and planning department.

I have been trying to tell y'all that Snitching is a good thing.
Christianity would be a lot less interesting without the whole Judas thing. It will be interesting to see how he is recast in future religious teachings.
Not to mention all the weird "Da Vinci Code"-esque elements of shady black market religious traders and looting involved in making the "Gospel of Judas" public.

With religious groups now holding signs saying "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" because they believe that God kills U.S. soldiers over America's embrace of homosexuality,with Patti LaBelle promoting her CDs and showing trailers for her movies after Easter service and Moussaoui singing "Burn in the U.S.A." at his trial to the tune of the Bruce Springsteen hit song, religion is looking soft in the streets right now.

Science, for giving some love to logic and rational thought as well as poking some holes in a few of religion's long running myths, you are the Snitch of the Week.

If you need your own Christ-like science figure, there is a new unearthed new season of Captain Planet on the Cartoon Network and the show may be brought back.

The power is yours!!!

Friday, April 21, 2006

Start Snitching at the Movies

(Just not around me.)

No, I don't mean scream out the surprise endings of suspense films in a crowded theater.

I mean that I went to the movies during my week of computerlessness.

Granted there were too many white teenie boppers smoking cigarettes and cutting class outside the theater, (or not, it may be Easter vacation) but it beats out the black theaters that are closer to me.

I have noticed that white theaters have 42% less shouting at the screen as well as 100% fewer screen bullet holes. (Please do not think I am joking about the bullet holes in the screen.)

In a sad testament to the quality of average commercial moviegoing, I struggled to find 3 movies to sneak into. There used to be times when I could walk into four movies in a row without any planning.

I printed out the damn theater schedule and after my first movie and I still barely found three movies worth watching.
But I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that I paid for one ticket and only saw one movie.

That's not what theaters are for. That's not what the MPAA wants, or at least what I think they want.

For those wondering, I saw "Inside Man," "Scary Movie 4" and "Thank You For Smoking."

"Inside Man" was a solid NYC loving heist flick that wasn't as surprising as I was lead to believe.
Jodie Foster was rather hot for some reason and Denzel had him a black woman at home, as is written into every one of his films contracts.
(Denzel loves the sisters!)
All in all it was a good comeback for Spike Lee after the public donkey show of "She Hate Me."
Denzel needs to do a completely non-Denzel different movie soon.

"Scary Movie 4" was the worst movie I saw since "Scary Movie 3." Which of course was the worst movie I saw since "Scary Movie 2." I remember "Scary Movie 1" as being slightly funny although I was a film virgin at the time.

"Why the fuck have you seen every single Scary Movie, you tasteless bastard?"

Allow me to explain, I saw the first movie because I was young, black and I thought the Wayans brothers were funny at the time.
I saw Scary Movie 2 while visiting family that had nothing but black DVD's to watch and that movie won out because there was nothing else to do.

I saw Scary Movie 3 because I knew it would be awful and I wanted to write a really bitter review for my college newspaper.
And Scary Movie 4 was the only movie that started after Inside Man and finished in time for the next movie.

Scary Movie 4 is the type of movie that makes you feel bad about being alive.
It's the type of movie that makes you wildly look all around the theater while wondering, "Who the fuck could be enjoying this?"
"Why is this funny? How many times can you laugh at someone hitting their head on a surface? Why am I so much better than all these people?

There were three funny parts that aren't even worth typing out at this point.

But the movie of the day was "Thank You For Smoking."
It's rare to find a humorous political movie that isn't really slapping you in the head the entire time with a point of view other than have your own point of view.
There is no grand moralizing or redemption for the soulless lobbyist at the end. Just reality.

This movie is like American Psycho in its glimpse into white male yuppie-dom and corporate emptiness. Without the blood shower.
And anything similar to American Psycho is a friend of mine.

I still need to see V For Vendetta for the blood shower I missed out on.
Anything else worthwhile in the theaters this year?

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Do you love taxes like me?

(Thank you sir! May I have another?!)

Start Snitching done been through it all this week.

Every year I realize how old I am when I have to do taxes.
April 15 always sneaks up on my ass like one of those quiet homeless people when I'm trying to sleep on the 2 train.

I considered filing a joint return.
According to Bill Maher, a joint return entails mailing a properly rolled joint to the I.R.S. with a note saying, "You must be high if you think I'm paying for this war."

But I don't want U.S. military dogs biting my crotch, so I decide to file taxes the good old fashioned way.

I will not mention the redundancy of millions of people filling out information the government already fucking has for the sole purpose of funding the tax filing industry or the ass fuckage involved in the current Bush tax code.

I also won't mention that Citibank Student Loans fucking suck.

And while I'm not mentioning all of that I will mention that in the middle of my paper hunt, I find a letter from the government saying I owe back taxes.
Back fucking taxes.
I don't know if it's me, but when I think of owing back taxes, I think of a rich shady old white dude.

I am not a rich shady old white dude. So I paid it.

If that wasn't fun enough, the love of my life, Toshi (aka Toshiba Satellite Pro M15,) gets a CMOS battery error and refused to stay on longer than 5 minutes.
After dropping it off for repairs I was forced to go outside in the sun and do stuff away from the safety of the Word Wide InterWeb as well as hang out with physical humans.

Dark times for all.

Although I must say that while walking around in NYC, I observed a direct correlation between sunlight and the rears of the Manhattan females out on the prowl.
Does photosynthesis apply to more than plants?
Do the sweet rays of the sun improve the bodies of women?

I look forward to testing this theory in the coming summer months.

I also got my computer back.
Reunited and it feels so good.

Expect lots of Snitches of the Week, my late ass Black/White roundup and other nonsensical ramblings.

Thanks for the roll call comments. Hopefully the motivation continues.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Start Snitching Roll Call!

(The best Soul Train picture I could find.)

While I'm putting together my Black/White round-up and a few backed up Snitch of the Weeks I figured I would get out something I meant to do for a while.

Start Snitching Roll Call!

Who reads this damn blog?

Whether you're a lurker who reads the site once-a-whenever and have never commented or you've subscribed to the RSS feed, e-mail update and check the website between bathroom breaks, I wanna know what's poppin.

What takes all this a step above online masturbation is the whole commenting/interactivity part of it.
Sometimes it's on point, but overall it's lacking. I feel like people generally check the site, curse me or agree and move on.

If you check the site and have any sort of reaction to what you read in general, post a comment.

Plus I want to add some links to the E-Pals part of my site.

So this post is your opportunity to shamelessly promote your blog and possibly be added to the illustrious list of Start Snitching E-Pals, or if you don't have a blog, to let me know where you're at and what you love/hate about the blog and the Interwebs in general.

I'm not going to report your info to the NSA, so relax, I'm just trying to see what's going on here.
Speak up people, it's half the battle.
I forgot what the other half is.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

It's not sad if you shoot first...

(No shout-outs at rap concerts for him please)

The disease of hip-hop at nighttime got another negro shot this week.

The newest victim was famous this time and happened to Eminem's weed-carrier, Proof, of D-12 fame.

The knee-jerk "R.I.P. fallen soldier" amongst other bullshit hip-hop tributes had already started when the evidence came out showing that he fired first and was shot as a result of his own ignorance.

From the article,

  • Proof pistol-whipped Bender, a former Army staff sergeant, after a heated argument over a pool match,before firing.

    This Guy, Bender, was discharged from the Army due to a heart condition and decided to celebrate his freedom from the defibrillator at a Detroit nightclub.

Who doesn't celebrate the relief from their medical conditions at Detroit nightclubs?
"Any cancer patients in the house?!"
"If ya got both kidneys, put 2 fingas in the air!"
I hear it all the time.

The man's cousin, who has turned himself in, then proceeded to light Proof's shit up.

Peep the dumb nigger quote from Snoop Dogg at the MTV Australia Music Awards,

  • "He was a part of the hip-hop family. We can't stop [the violence...but we can] try to be as positive as we can and do good things with our lives. I just know that every time somebody gets killed in hip-hop, we should look at it as a tragedy. There's nothing we can do to stop it as hip-hop artists, but be who we are and continue to make our good music."
No, you stupid motherfucker, we can stop the violence.
Instead of gun-butting and shooting someone over an argument involving a pool game, you can maybe try not to act like a stereotypical irascible rapper and realize that if you pull out your gun another person will probably pull out their gun.

Maybe he could have thought of his kids before he decided to act out "Gimme the Loot."
Why is a 32 year-old man with 5 children at an afterhours nightclub in Detroit pistol whipping people?
Clubs close at 2 AM in Detroit and the shit went down at 4:30. Nothing good happens at after-hours spots.

And to add a drop of irony to the situation, Eminem's 2004 video "Toy Soldiers" about ending rap beefs, showed Eminem attending Proof's mock funeral.
Considering that was the only good song off of that horrible album, maybe now Eminem will have something to rhyme about again.

Perhaps some good can come out of this situation after all.

In more positive music news, the best album of the 80's, Sonic Youth's classic, Daydream Nation, was inducted in the Library of Congress' National Recording Registry 2006 class.

Motherfuckers in Washington listen to indie music?

Some of the other recordings inducted this year are President Coolidge's inauguration, the first trans-Atlantic telephone conversation, Jimi Hendrix's "Are You Experienced," Gil Scott-Heron's "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised," and Stevie Wonder's "Songs on the key of Life."

Not bad company at all.

And no one from Sonic Youth shot anyone either.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

See the light!

You don't need Do It Yourself Lasik surgery to see the bullshit here.

*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA.

(The painless procedure part is just opinion.)

How can you legally sell an At-Home Lasik Kit? Wow.

Well, now that I have opened your eyes to the light, (or the laser) allow me to spew some pseudo-communist shit.

I know topics like executive pay and wage stagnation aren't exactly sexy topics, that's what Ciara is for, but this shit is aggravating enough that I have to write about it.

The newest instance of corporate bullshit is from ConAgro, the corporation that makes such
products as Chef Boyardee, Hunt's ketchup and Healthy Choice dinners.

Peep the comparison between a lifelong employee at the company and a previous CEO.

  • IN 1977, James P. Smith, a shaggy-haired 21-year-old known as Skinny, took a job as a meat grinder at what is now a ConAgra Foods pepperoni plant. At $6.40 an hour, it was among the best-paying jobs in town for a high school graduate.

    Nearly three decades later, Mr. Smith still arrives at the same factory, shortly before his 3:30 a.m. shift. His hair has thinned; he has put on weight. Today, his union job pays him $13.25 an hour to operate the giant blenders that crush 3,600-pound blocks of pork and beef.

    His earnings, which total about $28,000 a year, have not kept pace even with Omaha's low cost of living. The company eliminated bonuses about a decade ago. And now, almost 50, Mr. Smith is concerned that his $80,000 retirement nest egg will not be enough — especially since his plant is on a list of ones ConAgra wants to sell.

    "I will probably have to work until I die," Mr. Smith said in his Nebraskan baritone.
It's easy to look down on working Joes like that and say, "Shoulda went to college, shoulda left Omaha" and all that, but in a country with over 300 million people, someone needs to grind the pepperoni, so to speak.

I'm not saying you need to be a millionaire for grinding pepperoni, but your salary should at least keep up with inflation.
And the incompetent white man grinding your company into the ground and burning up your job should not get a private jet for life as his reward.

Here's the story of the CEO Bruce Rohdes, who stepped down last September
  • All told, Mr. Rohde, 57, received more than $45 million during his eight years at the helm, and was given an estimated $20 million retirement package as he walked out the door.

    Each year from 1997 to 2005, when Mr. Rohde led ConAgra, he was awarded either a large cash bonus, a generous grant of stock or options, or valuable benefits, such as extra years' credit toward his guaranteed pension.

    But the company, a food giant with more than 100 brands, struggled under his watch. ConAgra routinely missed earnings targets and underperformed its peers. Its share price fell 28 percent. The company cut more than 9,000 jobs. Accounting problems surfaced in every one of Mr. Rohde's eight years.

    Even when ConAgra restated its financial results, which lowered earnings in 2003 and 2004, Mr. Rohde's $16.4 million in bonuses for those two years stayed the same.

And to top it all off,

  • The average pay for a chief executive increased 27 percent last year, to $11.3 million, according to a survey of 200 large companies by Pearl Meyer & Partners, the compensation practice of Clark Consulting. The median chief executive's pay was somewhat lower, at $8.4 million, for an increase of 10.3 percent over 2004. By contrast, the average wage-earner took home $43,480 in 2004, according to Commerce Department data. And recent wage data from the Labor Department suggest that workers' weekly pay, up 2.9 percent in 2005, failed to keep pace with inflation of 3.3 percent.

    The average top executive's salary at a big company was more than 170 times the average worker's earnings in 2004, up from a multiple of 68 in 1940, according to a study last year by Carola Frydman, a doctoral candidate at Harvard, and Raven E. Saks, an economist at the Federal Reserve.

So if you work about 250 days a year, the average CEO would only need to work about a day and a half to make what you make.

That's a fun thought to ponder as you head off to work.

Free at last!

(Beard no more)

Sexy ass Ciara is finally free of Bow Wow.
The spokeswoman also took the unusual step of stating that the breakup wasn't amicable.

Did Ciara get Terry McMillaned?

The phenomenon of attractive women with men of dubious orientation and appeal is not new.
9 times out of 10 the reason is $$$.
But when both parties already have money, there is no excuse to date a Bow Wow.

There are things a young supple 20-year old black woman cannot learn from a frail 19-year old closeted homosexual.

Ciara, it's not too late.
I'm here for you sister.
Purify yourself in the waters of Start Snitching.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Condi has feelings

(Play louder, I can still hear the news...)

The NY Times tried to humanize Condi Rice this weekend by highlighting her involvement with a chamber quartet and her love of classical music.
I really don't know what the point of a story like this, especially in the light of the Bush administrations pending implosion.

Granted, everyone has hobbies and passions, even soulless, kitten-stomping, blood-drinking, old lady-pushing, war-mongering government officials who fail at their jobs.

But reading about how she finds the time to practice once every two weeks with a group of people who don't mind the fact that she was watching Broadway shows and buying shoes in Manhattan while black people got a crash course in swimming in New Orleans wasn't the happy fluff piece it should have been.

If she was nearly half as dedicated to getting Bush to read the Daily Presidential Briefings titled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in the U.S." during any point in 2001 as she is to mastering Brahms Second Piano Concerto, which she vows to master in this life, there would probably two more large buildings in NYC than there are now.

Looking at her history, there is no doubt that she is a brilliant black woman who came up from the old 'Dirty South' to achieve godlike power rivaled only by that of Oprah.
But that just makes it all the more sad to see how she failed to stand with her fellow Negro comrade, Colin Powell, under the Bush Administration.

She did such a great job securing the nation as the National Security Advisor during her first four years that she was made the Secretary of State.

And it's clear how much America's standing in the world has risen now that she holds that position.
And now people want her to be President in 2008.

What does she have to do before someone realizes that she shouldn't hold a governmental office?

Shoot Yo Yo Ma in the face?

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Even cooking hates Negroes...

(Who doesn't belong in this picture?)

Someone at the NY Times (good redesign) must have a new negro girlfriend or boyfriend or something, because these ridiculous stories about blacks just won't stop.

But as long as the Times keeps writing these ridiculous stories I will keep posting them.

The newest one is a hard hitting investigative piece about the dearth of negroes in the world of haute cuisine.

Wisdom nuggets cut from the article,

"Years ago, when cooking at even the best restaurants was considered menial labor, blacks often worked the stoves. But as employment options opened up for blacks in the 1960's and 70's, kitchen work became less attractive. Now, with the restaurant industry booming and chefs becoming celebrities and wealthy entrepreneurs, few blacks are sharing in that success, and as young black men and women enter the profession they are finding few mentors or peers. "The adulation that the chef gets now and the rank that chefs are on the social scale now, African-Americans are not taking part of it at all," said the chef and cookbook author Jacques Pépin."

"I don't think cooking, when parents want their children to grow up and prosper, it's something that comes to mind," he added. What is more likely to come to mind, in his words, is "the house Negro" or Aunt Jemima.

"The dining rooms of high-end restaurants often hold little more attraction for African-Americans than the kitchens."

"It's very common that you go and don't see a single black face in the entire restaurant," said Alain Joseph, a black chef in the test kitchen at Emeril Lagasse's headquarters in New Orleans. "A restaurant with 200 people, you don't see a single black face."

But while cultural stigmas have held back many aspiring chefs, others blame racism. Joe Brown, the chef at Mélange Cafe, which he owns with his wife in Cherry Hill, N.J., remembers, at his first job, being choked and called a racial epithet by the chef. He didn't stay long, but he continued to cook at numerous other restaurants.

"The first thing they say is, "The only thing you know about is fried chicken and collard greens,' " Mr. Williams said. "And anybody you know that's in this business that's a black chef — in most cases that's what he's cooking. Even if he came out of a French kitchen, he ends up cooking Southern food."

Mr. Knowling pointed to his own experience: "I'm classically French trained. I wanted to be the French chef, and that's what I studied for years and years, and now I run a barbecue restaurant — an upscale barbecue restaurant and soul food restaurant.

"There are so many black cooks," she said, adding: "We're on the verge of change. And thank goodness, because the heritage that we bring is a great addition to American cuisine as a whole."

Um, thanks NY Times.
Now, not only do I know why the caged bird sings, er... I mean, not only do I know why there are so few blacks in the restaurant, but I now have hope that a fellow Negro may walk through the door or come out of the kitchen any second now.
And that knowledge makes the food taste so much better.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Did you get your race card? Part 2

Since Black/White on FX is only six episodes, I will wait until it is finished to write my review.

There are plenty of other things that have been keeping negroes busy lately.

The NY Times has been in love with black people recently.

1) They have an article about black people using the Internet. Boy, we done made it now...

Negroes on thar interwebs!!11!!!

From the article,

According to a Pew national survey of people 18 and older, completed in February, 74 percent of whites go online, 61 percent of African-Americans do and 80 percent of English-speaking Hispanic-Americans report using the Internet.

What the hell are Hispanics doing on the Internet like that? Damn.

If you have ever been to a negro library, you will see that half of those kids are on, MySpace or whatever else kids do on the Internet.

2) Blacks have also brought the crime back to New Orleans, along with themselves.
From the article,

"They're beginning to surface again," said Alfred Barrow, a newspaper deliverer, painting his porch on an empty-looking block at Third and Magnolia in Center City. I'm out here throwing papers at 3 a.m., and I see them. What reason is there for them to be out there?"

And people wondered if New Orleans would be the same.
Poor ass black people killing each other.
Just like the good old days.

3) And someone has finally called out the missing X-factor about why black men are falling so far behind in society compared to other groups.
Hip-hop 'culture.'

From the article,

"Nor have studies explained why, if someone cannot get a job, he turns to crime and drug abuse. One does not imply the other. Joblessness is rampant in Latin America and India, but the mass of the populations does not turn to crime.

And why do so many young unemployed black men have children -- several of them -- which they have no resources or intention to support? And why, finally, do they murder each other at nine times the rate of white youths?"


"SO why were they flunking out? Their candid answer was that what sociologists call the "cool-pose culture" of young black men was simply too gratifying to give up. For these young men, it was almost like a drug, hanging out on the street after school, shopping and dressing sharply, sexual conquests, party drugs, hip-hop music and culture, the fact that almost all the superstar athletes and a great many of the nation's best entertainers were black. Not only was living this subculture immensely fulfilling, the boys said, it also brought them a great deal of respect from white youths. This also explains the otherwise puzzling finding by social psychologists that young black men and women tend to have the highest levels of self-esteem of all ethnic groups, and that their self-image is independent of how badly they were doing in school. I call this the Dionysian trap for young black men. The important thing to note about the subculture that ensnares them is that it is not disconnected from the mainstream culture. To the contrary, it has powerful support from some of America's largest corporations. Hip-hop, professional basketball and homeboy fashions are as American as cherry pie. Young white Americans are very much into these things, but selectively; they know when it is time to turn off Fifty Cent and get out the SAT prep book. For young black men, however, that culture is all there is -- or so they think. Sadly, their complete engagement in this part of the American cultural mainstream, which they created and which feeds their pride and self-respect, is a major factor in their disconnection from the socioeconomic mainstream."

It's easy to criticize hip-hop, because so much of the criticism is true.
When you are getting the message that robbing a hotel (Black Rob got 7 years) is a worse crime than murder, (Cassidy got 8 months) and that regardless, prison is a good inspiration/vacation between albums (Beenie Siegel, Lil Kim, Styles P) as well as probation being a resume builder (Young Buck, The South) you are going to have some confused black youths.

Too many black people think they can be rappers. Shit, most rappers can barely rap.
I blame rap.

4) Also black people hate marriage.

Article highlights,

"In 2001, according to the U.S. Census, 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women in America had never been married, in contrast to 27.4 percent and 20.7 percent respectively for whites.

I was stunned to learn that a black child was more likely to grow up living with both parents during slavery days than he or she is today, according to sociologist Andrew J. Cherlin.

"If Jesus Christ bought me an engagement ring, I wouldn't take it," a separated thirty-something friend told me. "I'd tell Jesus we could date, but we couldn't marry.'"

Damn, black women are getting bitter, and it seems it's largely with good reason.

5) And to top it all of, look at this bit of coonery that has been all over the Internet.

What are black people thinking?
Did they not see the cameras?

I know they saw the cameras when they made this...

Why black people?

If you have any good news about black people, other than Spike Lee making a good movie that was #1 in the country, please let me know.

In the meantime I will be examining the possibility of some Indian heritage I may have.

Snitch of the Week: 3/26 - 4/1

After this I am going to do my best to stay off of this guy's jock.

Honest. But it the meanwhile, Nicholas Kristof remains the gulliest man in the world.

Read the column first,

In Disgrace, and Facing Death

Published: March 28, 2006

KHANPUR, Pakistan

Aisha Parveen will live another day. Indeed, at least another week.

Ms. Parveen, the young Pashtun woman I wrote about on Sunday, was kidnapped at the age of 14 and imprisoned in a brothel here in southeastern Pakistan for six years. She escaped in January and married the man who helped her flee, but now a Pakistani court has charged her with adultery and is threatening to hand her back to the brothel owner — even though she is adamant that he will then torture and kill her.

Ms. Parveen's court hearing was yesterday, and I was afraid that would be the end. But the court adjourned the case for one week for further investigation. And Ms. Parveen's lawyer thinks the mood is different now: the Pakistani press picked up on my column, and the attention will make judges more careful about handling her.

So the publicity may save her life, but it won't make much difference for thousands of other Aisha Parveens around the world. Asma Jahangir, the chairwoman of the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan, said she sees cases like Ms. Parveen's all the time.

"There is no such thing called justice in Pakistan," said Ms. Jahangir, a prominent lawyer in Lahore. "It has simply collapsed."

Ms. Jahangir fights heroically for poor women who have been charged — like Ms. Parveen — with zina offenses under Islamic law. Zina encompasses fornication and adultery, and accusations of zina are effective weapons against women.

Landlords often evict women tenants, for example, by accusing them of zina. Worse, women who go to the police to report rapes can be arrested for zina, because they have acknowledged illicit sex and yet usually cannot provide four male witnesses to prove that it was rape.

Even professionals like Ms. Jahangir are targeted if they confront the government. Last year, for example, the police attacked her and a group of other middle-class women demonstrating for women's rights. She says that an aide to President Pervez Musharraf gave the police instructions about her: "Teach the [expletive] a lesson. Strip her in public." Sure enough, the police ripped off her shirt.

Ms. Parveen, now living in hiding after several kidnapping attempts in the last few days, faces an even more brutal struggle. Her only stroke of luck is having her new husband, Mohamed Akram, who rescued her from the brothel, on her side. The young couple are lovebirds, and each keeps talking about being so lucky to have found the other.

But Mr. Akram, while unwavering in his love, has disgraced his family by marrying a supposedly fallen woman, and his older sister is suffering.

"My brother-in-law sent me a message: 'Unless you divorce her, I will divorce your sister,' " Mr. Akram lamented. "She has two kids. And he's also beating her now. He's very upset because I married a girl who was in a brothel, who is not a virgin."

The couple cannot seek refuge with Ms. Parveen's parents, because Pashtun parents routinely protect their family honor by killing daughters accused of zina.

"I cannot go back there because if I do, they'll kill me," Ms. Parveen said. "In their eyes I'm dishonored, because even if a girl is kidnapped, then in their eyes she still should be killed."

Saddest of all, her story isn't newsworthy in a classic sense. There's nothing at all unusual about a young Asian woman suffering years of sexual enslavement, or judicial malpractice or murder.

And that's the challenge for us all, Asians and Americans alike — to change our worldview and put gender issues like sex trafficking higher on the global agenda.

A quarter-century ago, Jimmy Carter plucked human rights abuses from the backdrop of the international arena and put them on the agenda. Now it's time to focus on gender inequality in the developing world, for that is the greatest single source of human rights violations today.

Political dissidents tend to get the world's attention. But for every dissident who is beaten to death by government torturers somewhere in the world, thousands of ordinary women or girls die prematurely because of the effects of discrimination. In India, for example, girls 1 to 5 years old are 50 percent more likely to die than boys of the same age, because the boys are favored. That differential accounts for the death of a young Indian girl every four minutes.

Since these victims usually are voiceless, I'll give Ms. Parveen the last word so she can prick our consciences.

"God should not give daughters to poor people," she said in despair. "And if a daughter is born, God should grant her death."

And the update,

My last two columns recounted the story of Aisha Parveen, a young Pakistani who escaped from the brothel in which she had been imprisoned for six years. The courts were threatening to send her back to the brothel owner, who planned to kill her.

In the last few days, everything has changed. The police have dropped all charges against Ms. Parveen, and instead they have arrested the brothel owner on charges of kidnapping her and attempting to murder her. The Pakistani government is now behind Ms. Parveen and giving her 24-hour police protection, and she's thrilled — and thankful for the support from so many readers.

Now for the million other Aisha Parveens around the world. ...


And this is Pakistan, our progressive partner in the war against terrorism...

Granted, Kristof is basically standing in front of a busted dam with a paper towel, but the fact that he constantly calls attention to the most egregious human rights abuses that most political commentators don't know shit about or are too scared to look into, while risking headlessness or worse in these crazy Muslim countries makes Nicholas Kristoff the Snitch of the Week.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Start Snitching Updates

First my damn website wasn't working and know I realize the e-mail updates from my site weren't going out.

They seem to be going out now, so if you just started getting them again, go to the site and see what you missed while the Internet betrayed me.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Stop Snitching!

Keep ya damn mouth shut.

April Fool's! Ha ha ha.

Snitch away people.

Here are the better April Fool's jokes I found today.

This is by David Cross, pretending to be the CEO of Yahoo!

Greetings, I hope this finds you well. My name is Carver Malone, President and CEO of Yahoo! Inc. I guess you could call me Yahoo’s main “dude,” although you won’t find me on a dude ranch! I’m scared of horses…and unicorns. That’s why I never saw The Chronicles Of Narnia. Anyhoo, I would like to welcome you to the first annual Yahoo! SXSW Young Persons’ Music Jamout. We hope that by sponsoring this afternoon’s totally rad rock ‘n’ roll concert that not only will we be able to build spiritual bridges linking generations and cultures through music and art, but we will also be able to sear the Yahoo! name into the collective consciences of the fastest-rising disposable income demographic of our country. Hey, they don’t call it “branding” for nothing. And we think we’ve got a “totally rad” lineup for you this afternoon.

I know what you’re thinking: “Hey old man, what do you in your suit and tie and 2.5 kids know about us teens? We’re Generation X–the skateboard generation!” Well, it may seem hard to believe, but I too was young once. Whether it was hangin’ ten with my bro’s down at the auto shop or getting crunk with my black friends Jali’il and Eduardo, I’ve had my share of wild and wooly nights and I know how important Spring Break can be to a young adult’s life. It’s a rite of passage and rape for many men and women.

We here at Yahoo! know you have a choice in online servers…and we are trying to change that. Hopefully, by linking this great afternoon of emocore and free beer with the Yahoo! name, you will switch over to us and NOT the competition. Let’s drive AOL into the sea, where the streets will flow with their blood. They are a dirty, subhuman race of mud people who must be wiped clean from the holy land. And that holy land is!

Anyway, enjoy Texas and all it has to offer–from its yellow roses, to totally slamming ‘Q, to its culture of institutionalized racism. Just kick back with some brewski’s or some Long Island Iced Teas, and enjoy today’s hottest musical acts and an acerbic, smug comedian who enjoys biting the hand that feeds him.

Let it all hang out. Surf’s up! Tune in, turn on, and drop out!

Carver Malone, Yahoo!

The other was by Google who mocked themselves as well as the sad individuals who fuel the online dating industry.

Holla at Google Romance.
They will search for the love of your life,

1. What is Google Romance?
Google Romance is a place where you can post all types of romantic information and, using our Soulmate Search, see search results that could, in theory, include the love of your life. Then we'll send you both on a Contextual DateTM, which we'll pay for while delivering to you relevant ads that we and our advertising partners think will help produce the dating results you're looking for.

Oh Google. You multi-billion dollar corporations slay me.

Here is a list of all the April Fool's pranks.

Now here is some shit that I wish was an April Fool's joke.
The Elephant Man is looking sexy right about now...

Snitch of the Week: 3/19 - 3/25

(He's back...)

With blogging being the ephemeral creature it is, it doesn't take much to forget about the post right underneath the one you're reading, let alone one made a month ago.

That's why I decided to give some shine to Eric Adam's follow-up story.

As you may not recall, he basically called out the City's terror alert as bullshit meant to distract the press from Bloomberg's snub of a debate in Harlem.

The NYPD charged him with all types of nonsense, like "talking back to massa" and "telling the truth" putting his pension on the line.

In the end it all work out and on his last official day of the job he was acquitted of all the important charges against him.

However he was found guilty of appearing as a representative of the NYPD without permission.
He will lose 15 vacation days because of that.

But getting off wasn't enough for Mr. Adams.
After his acquittal he said,

"We are going to continue until the conclusion of this battle to ensure that the public is safe during particular terrorist threats."

For putting 22 years of work on the line and continually sticking it to the man and getting away with it, Eric Adams is once again the Snitch of the Week.