Saturday, April 22, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 4/2 - 4/8

(Walking fish!!! Run for your Bibles!!!)

Science really kicked religion's ass in this week.

Since I'm late with this, let me sum up the ways quickly.

First, a fossil was found that linked legless fishies to landlubber upright walkers.

Second, a medical study proved that praying doesn't heal people.

From the article,

  • "Prayers offered by strangers had no effect on the recovery of people who were undergoing heart surgery, a large and long-awaited study has found.

    And patients who knew they were being prayed for had a higher rate of post-operative complications like abnormal heart rhythms, perhaps because of the expectations the prayers created, the researchers suggested."

Third, a professor who has scientifically explained some other biblical miracles, explained that Jesus' miracle of walking on water may have been due to unique ice patterns in the Middle East around Jesus time.

Fourth, Jesus was found to have told Judas to snitch on him in order to kick start his crucifixion.
It makes the notion of Jesus fake walking on water a little more believable, since Jesus seems to be pretty good in the whole foresight and planning department.

I have been trying to tell y'all that Snitching is a good thing.
Christianity would be a lot less interesting without the whole Judas thing. It will be interesting to see how he is recast in future religious teachings.
Not to mention all the weird "Da Vinci Code"-esque elements of shady black market religious traders and looting involved in making the "Gospel of Judas" public.

With religious groups now holding signs saying "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" because they believe that God kills U.S. soldiers over America's embrace of homosexuality,with Patti LaBelle promoting her CDs and showing trailers for her movies after Easter service and Moussaoui singing "Burn in the U.S.A." at his trial to the tune of the Bruce Springsteen hit song, religion is looking soft in the streets right now.

Science, for giving some love to logic and rational thought as well as poking some holes in a few of religion's long running myths, you are the Snitch of the Week.

If you need your own Christ-like science figure, there is a new unearthed new season of Captain Planet on the Cartoon Network and the show may be brought back.

The power is yours!!!


  1. The thing that always bothered me about Captain Planet was the over-the-top attempt at political correctness. And I say attempt because despite the fact that all the kids were of different cultures, they were essentialized (stereotyped) in their ethnicities/races. Of course I didn't really realize this when I was 12 and watching the cartoon. I mostly hated it because Captain Planet seemed gay. Brokeback Planet it seemed to me.

  2. Captain Planet my very well have been gay upon further reflection.
    As well as several of the Planeteers.

    But I always like to the African kid was making it happen with the Russian chick.