Thursday, September 07, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 9/3 - 9/9 (Facebook)

(If you've ever seen this, you need to go outside)

Facebook done went and snitched on everybody this week.
The site that enables millions of losers to stalk people they never had the courage to talk to in high school or college added a new feature called News Feeds that show you updates to all your friends' pages.

The feature actually saves a lot of time. It lets you see what your friends have changed without having to pretend that you care enough to look at their pages. (Please check out my photos!!!)

It does give some extraneous information but it doesn't show anything you couldn't have found out about anybody on your friend list anyway.

Yet over-privileged twenty-something year old college students flipped out and started protesting the changes like something important happened.
This Wikipedia story is here and of course it is locked because people feel the need to vandalize encyclopedia articles to express their anger... or something.

Do people realize that Facebook is a site where people voluntarily list their screen names, places of employment, phone numbers, relationship status, political beliefs, pictures of themselves vomiting on each other and their god damn addresses?

I think I saw someone list their menstrual cycle on there once.

People put all this information out there but then complain that Facebook is "stalkerish." Maybe people should stop putting their life on the web if they don't want people to read about their life on the web.
And if you don't want certain people reading your shit then maybe you shouldn't go around adding people as your friends that aren't your friends.

Employers are already screening people based on their profiles and the Alphabet Boys (FBI, CIA, NSA, HLS, etc...) would have a field day compiling information on you that they don't already have from your FAFSA records.

The previous generation already fucked up by using up all of the Social Security and giving us Iraqi war debt to pay off until we die, but it seems the only shit that will get this generation riled up is a new feature on Facebook.

Cry about Facebook spying on you while George Bush and Alberto Gonzales read your e-mail and listen to you call your grandma. Only 47% of college age students voted in the last election anyway, I guess the rest were too busy poking strangers.

For calling out everyone trying to get ass on the Facebook as well as the stupidity of this generation the The Facebook is the Snitch of the Week.


  1. Menstrual cycles? i thought you were just joking, that shit is NOT cute.