Monday, September 04, 2006

The Crocodile Hunter Is Dead, Damn.

(He came, he saw, he Crikeyed.)

I was just talking to someone the other day about how I don't really know many people that are all that interesting.
And I'm sure that there is some evolutionary Marxist explanation as to why most people are boring.

In the circles I operate in people go to college, get a job, they'll probably get married and then pump out a few kids while try to enjoy their lives. And that's fine.
A few others I know may have been shot or stabbed a few times, but that's boring in its own Brooklyn kind of way.

By interesting I mean crazy off the wall insane people that always have some damn near implausible, perfectly structured story to tell you. Those people are rare.

Shit, I'm not all that interesting, I'm sitting here writing on a blog.

But one person who sort of encompassed the idea of what I am talking about was Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter, the crazy Australian guy who got into a little trouble for holding his baby near a crocodile.

Besides that Michael Jacksonesque mistake, he seemed like the kind of guy who you wouldn't mind talking to or being around (from a distance) just on the strength of the insane shit he was doing and his over the top personality. If you've ever seen him on TV, it was clear that he was very likable.
And then I found out that Steve Irwin, the goddamn Crocodile Hunter, was murdered by a stingray.
I knew stingrays were gully, but I didn't know they were killing fools out there. Especially people who hunted crocodiles for a living.
But apparently they have razor-sharp, poisonous barbs that can wrap up a human easily.

And of course, if you look up stingrays on Wikipedia, the page is locked down due to vandalism.
I guess some Steve Irwin fans thought they'd get back at stingrays by jacking up their Wikipedia page?

I always thought that crazy white people who had these kinds of careers never died. They just went about their business while people who don't have the stones to do what they do watch them on TV and file their taxes while folding their tube socks or whatever they do.

But between this and the documentary Grizzly Man, about the white guy who got himself and his girlfriend eaten by grizzly bears because he thought he could talk to animals (not my kind of interesting...) it became quite clear what the evolutionary reasons are behind boring people.

They stay alive, just with less reason.


  1. The boring people live...but don't we all suffer for it. I'd rather kick with some medieval cats who take three arrows in the chest, kill 20 guys and then bitch cause someone drank the last of the meade...they tell better stories.

  2. Damn, damn, damn!

    Lesson here:

    Stingrays are gangsta, son. (Who knew?)

    But really tho. I liked the Croc Hunter, he seemed like a cool dude..Now Grizzly Man was a little "off", and I hate to admit that me and my friends laughed our fucking asses off while watching his documentary.....

  3. - I was watching some clips of the dude. He was a funny guy and he did good work.

    Why couldn't Paris Hilton or Dr. Phil catch a stingray barb to the chest?

    - I'd chill with some medieval dudes. As long as they didn't try to enslave me or anything.

  4. Yeah, he seemed like a good dude, but it was only a matter of time...When will (white) people learn not to f*ck with wild animals?

    Seriously, by a show of hands, who the f*ck thinks it's a good idea to go around harrassing WILD animals with lights, cameras, no protective gear, and some loud @ss Australian cat yelling:"CRIKEY!!!!"

    Oh, no one does? That's what I thought...