(How you git dat watermelon so sweet? Mmm mmm!!!)
So besides the odd Hurricane Katrina and Rosa Park death, America has two times when they are supposed to vaguely acknowledge colored folk issues.
MLK Jr. Day and Black History Month.
Well today is MLK Jr. Day, so let's see what half-assed racial promises and observations have been made today.
First, we have a fun bit of revisionist history from Dubya, in which he passes on the nugget of knowledge that "Abraham Lincoln recognized that all men are created equal. Martin Luther King lived on that admonition to call our country to a higher calling, and today we celebrate the life of an American who called Americans to account when we didn't live up to our ideals."
But I remember something like...
"If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that."
So they are kind of the same. Right?
Even public schools are teaching my brother about Abraham's political strategy in freeing the slaves.
But what can you expect from a man who only weeks ago said, ''As you can possibly see, I have an injury myself -- not here at the hospital, but in combat with a cedar. I eventually won. The cedar gave me a little scratch. As a matter of fact, the colonel asked if I needed first aid when she first saw me. I was able to avoid any major surgical operations here, but thanks for your compassion, colonel" to amputees from the Iraq and Afghan wars at the Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio.
Secondly, we have Ray Nagin, who went from temporary hero to wacko nut job with his thesis-worthy observation that "God is mad at America" in light of the year-end hurricane bonanza.
According Ray Nagin, who recently received his doctorate in theology, God is mad about Iraq and Black America. So he drowned thousands of poor/black people and dispersed hundreds of thousands of people across the country, to end the war in Iraq? But apparently God likes Parliament because he wants New Orleans to be a chocolate city.
Why can't people just leave God alone or at least give him some credit.
Surely, he could concoct a stronger anti-war, pro-black plan than a hurricane and some flooding.
That is sooo Old Testament.
With his double degree in divination, Dr. Nagin (as he will be referred to from here forth) was able to have a posthumous convo with MLK in which MLK more or less told him "Niggas need to chill."
OK Dr. Nagin, please stop talking.
Look, all this is too damn divisive. If it's not too late, I think I found a way to celebrate MLK Day that we can all agree upon.
Hot Interracial Loving.