Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 1/1 - 1/7

Where would "Snitch of the Week" be without crooked ass white men?

Richard Causey
, the former Enron accountant and Jack Abramoff, slimeball lobbyist extraordinaire, both turned state's witness after the realizing they would rather rat out their friends than do their maximum bid.

Causey's sentence gets dropped from 7 years to 5, if he helps send Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling away on that long-term executive vacation the government wants.

Jack Abramoff (who really wore a goddamn trenchcoat and fedora to court) has a more complicated case, as prosecutors decide how far his tentacles stretch across Washington and how much they want to prosecute. Besides, he a lobbyist, he's supposed to be shady.

And despite all of the inherent shadiness between these two, they are going to end up netting a lot more people that are even shadier than them. That's a lot of shady.

So Richard Causey and Jack Abramoff, for your fear of prison and high supply of prosecutable friends, you are the Snitch(es) of the Week.

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