Tuesday, November 08, 2005

It's Election Day! Cast your vote America!!!

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What? American Idol still hasn't started?
Oh, regular "governmental" elections...

Well then, in light of the New York mayoral race devolving into Bloomberg's personal contest to see how much he can beat his own $74 million 2001 campaign spending record by; I have decided to look for a meaningful outlet for my vote.
Bloomberg is as cool as the average multi-billionaire can be. When I saw him in person a few months ago during the early campaign season I could help but think,

"God damn, he looks rich as hell."

Yet he doesn't make you punch-him-in-the-face angry like professional snake oil salesman Donald Trump. He has a kind of winsome charm that almost made me O.K. with the bullshit answer he gave me about Wal-Mart in NYC and the fact that he could buy my family with his pocket change. He has eased racial tension in NYC and has an obvious liberal streak that has obfuscated his evil billionaire activities like billion-dollar stadium giveaways while neglecting the WTC reconstruction, mass arrests during the 2004 Republican National Convention and annoying ass ubiquitous advertisements. Bloomberg for Crown Heights ads annoy people when they aren't in Crown Heights. Not to mention the ethnic radio ads that always amuse me as they attempt to reach out to black voters. I know Magic Johnson endorses you and he played basketball(!!!) but he also has HIV, which leads me to believe he hasn't always made the best decisions in life.

The Democratic challenger, Fernando Ferrer, is thoroughly unimpressive and despite his undeserved endorsement by the NY Times in the Democratic primary, he managed to not to get their overall endorsement for mayor. How you can be endorsed for a primary but not the overall election is part of the NY Times new strategy to lose credibility.

So what to do in the face of a blow-out election with a voting buying candidate on one side and an inept candidate on the other?
Throw away your vote on a fringe candidate.
This is why Start Snitching endorses Jimmy McMillan

Of the Rent is Too Damn High! Party. As a Vietnam veteran and a retired postal worker who better understands the gritty realities of life.
And have you ever looked at rent prices in NY?
They're too damn high!

From the NYC Voter's Guide

1. What is the most important issue in the city you would address if elected?

RENT Is Too Damn High there is nothing else to talk about. All poor people are being ran out of New York

2. What other important issues would you address if elected?

RENT Is Too Damn High there is nothing else to talk about.

3. What makes you the best candidate for this office?

I am a Rent Activist with real solutions to the High Rent Crisis that is driving everyone out of this City. That is what makes me the best candidate for this job.

Get this man in office !!!

1 comment:

  1. this shit was hilarious. i went to the website for the rent is too damn high party and i have not laughed so hard this week. "we shall not be moved" takes on a whole other meaning when sang by the rent is too damn high party.

    good times.