Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Snitch of the Week: 1/13 - 1/19 (Rappers on Steroids)

(Marlo Stanfield, my new alias)

The idea of rappers on steroids shouldn't have received the surprise reaction it did when the news broke last week.

Look at the formula of rap music.

Hyper masculine culture

+ Exaggerated fantasy talk

+ Weak Album Sales

+ The Need for Attention

= AKA Barry Bonds/Roger Clemens syndrome

The real kicker is how they ordered their steroids,

  • "Between August 2005 and January 2007 Blige allegedly received multiple shipments from an Orlando pharmacy of Jentropin, a human growth hormone, and Oxandrolone, an anabolic steroid, in orders sent to her at the Beverly Hills Hotel, MGM Grand in Las Vegas, and Clay Gym in New York City.

    At least one of the orders was mailed under the name "Marlo Stanfield," which is the character name of a drug kingpin on the Baltimore-based HBO crime drama "The Wire."
    "[50 Cent] is alleged to have received shipments of steroids at his mansion in Farmington, Conn. in July 2006 an order was mailed to his residence under the name "Michael Jordan" and also at a residence on Oakmont Drive in Los Angeles. Steroids in his name also were mailed to the office of a Long Island chiropractor."

My name is Stringer Bell Vic Mackey Jack Bauer and I'd like one steroid please!

Stupid fucks.


The runner-up is a group of E-thugs who decided to bring their gangsterism to YouTube.

  • Two alleged gang members who taunted the Miami Dade Police Department in a video posted on YouTube have been arrested by U.S. agents and charged with federal firearms violations.

    Rudy Villanueva and Tony Logan, alleged members of a Miami-Dade County street gang called the Bird Road Boys, were seen in the video brandishing a shotgun, assault rifle and handguns. Villanueva was arrested by Immigration and Customs Enforcement late Tuesday evening, and Logan was arrested early Wednesday morning.

    Villanueva, who goes by the names King Bird Road and Bird Road Rudy, is the alleged leader of the gang and is seen on the video saying, "Metro Dade Gang Unit, here I am baby." Villanueva went on in the video to say "we's out here fighting a Cold War" and that "they come at us if they want to.

    Logan appears in the video saying "come get it" while flashing gang signs and pulling the triggers of the two handguns he is holding.

    Mexicans for the win!

    For somehow involving The Wire with the ever spreading steroid scandal, steroid rappers are the Snitch of the Week.


  1. I bet our Mayor will love that.

  2. Am I the only one who feels like this is a waste of police resources. Drugs are ravaging the inner cities in places like Albany and these guys are chasing 50 cent and Mary J. Blige around for steroids, only to not file any charges against them?

    Are they prosecuting for the press or are they trying to improve avaerage Americans standard of living?

  3. On the topic of foolishly obvious drug use, I just saw on CNN that Lil' Wayne was caught by the border patrol with various drugs and $22,000 cash on his chartered bus.

    Is looking like a drug dealer in order to improve one's record sales worth the risk of incarceration? Apparently. Maybe such incidents should be accompanied by heavy fines.

  4. Explain Mary J Blige and Tyler Perry please.

  5. Its miami, they aint mexican, they cuban, b.

  6. The Feds MP with steroid cases is to go after the distributors not the users. They show up and offer immunity for a truthful and threaten perjury and obstruction of justice if they lie.

    If you lie they try and drop the hammer i.e Marion Jones, Barry Bonds, Dana Stubblefied, etc.

  7. http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/01/09/what-do-real-thugs-think-of-the-wire/

    I know you are a major lover of both the NYT and The Wire so you have more than likly seen this but if not here is the link anyway.

    A few questions for you sir.

    What characters do you think are going to be killed off this season of the wire?

    How do you think the writers should handle Omar's demise?