Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The Revolution Will Definitely Not Be Televised

(Too Hot for TV?)

The FCC was bad enough when it was run by Colin Powell's son, Michael, but now that Bush is done with those two "Negroes," Kevin Martin is the new white man in charge of keeping Janet Jackson's boobies off your screen.

Two weeks ago the FCC hit CBS with $3.63 million in fines for airing a repeat of Without A Trace, one the million procedural crime dramas on that channel. That's more money than Howard Stern was fined in any of the years he was on the radio.

The episode depicted teenagers participating in drunken orgies and other types of non-abstinence Bush-approved behaviors.

For all it's crime sheen and "adult themes," it's the same type of cheap moralizing fare that kept Family Matters and Mr. Rogers on the air.

Watch your kids or they will hang out at the kid's house whose parents are never there and have sex.

The episode is here. But you didn't hear that from me.
If the word BitTorrent frightens you, I can e-mail you a clip of the offending content.

I don't watch CBS that much with the exception of the "The Unit" (which is produced by the creator of The Shield) but having seen this episode, it's no worse than Law and Order: Rape and Torture Division, um Special Victims Unit or any of the other brutal crime shows out there on TV.

In fact "Our Sons and Daughters" (the name of the ep) is pretty benign in the scheme of things.
Personally, I have never seen or heard of an orgy where everyone has on underwear and all the girls have on their bras.

And the lesson of the episode is similar to a clip of 'shocking' content that the Parent's Television Council used to incite complaints to the FCC in the first place.

Watch your fucking kids.

Children should not be watching The Shield, Nip/Tuck, South Park or even Law and Order in some cases. There is a reason these shows are rated MA.

I'm not going to pretend like TV is some endangered art form fighting for its purity. Most of it is shit, like anything else.
Without a Trace has cookie cutter story-less characters, who robotically gather clues and move to the next suspect as they make everything right by the end of the hour. It's not a good show.

But the anti-panty crowd's censoring creates a chilling effect that spreads past network television and onto cable.
After the CBS fines, the WB self-censored their already approved show to play it extra safe. Granted, most WB shows suck whether you get to see Amber unbutton her jeans or not (that's really what they censored) but it's pathetic indication of where we are as a society when the government continually breaks the will of the people.

Whether its colleges giving all their minority scholarship money to white kids, the media afraid to ask those in power tough questions or networks covering their own mouths in fear of slap on the wrist, people are being herded and don't even recognize it.

Peep the bullshit from Martin,

"The number of complaints received by the commission has risen year after year. I share the concerns of the public - and of parents, in particular - that are voiced in these complaints."

In reality, the viewer complaints (Who actually calls the FCC and complains? I want to beat these people) fell 86% in 2005 to 189,362 from 1.4 mill in 2004.

Oh, the lies and the bullshit!

And to top this all off, Napoleon Dynamite wasn't just playing a hardcore Mormon on TV, he really is one.
Say it ain't so...

From a recent interview,

Q. Do you fear having to do a sex scene or a scene with extreme violence?

A. I don't think I ever will do a sex scene because of my religion and my personal standards. Coming into this business has opened up many doors where I'm constantly making a decision on each project. I'll never do a sex scene where you see a man and a woman lie on the bed and the camera is still there with the naked actors in your face. I won't show the act of it on screen. I'd do a violent scene if it was in a war film or the content or story justified it. I'm open, however, to working with a writer to tweak a scene that I might personally find offensive. A young horny-guy movie like ''American Pie'' is not something I think I can do or would ever see.


Why is America so much happier about violence than sex?
Would you rather participate in a teenage orgy or kill someone?

Don't answer that if you're over 18...

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


(Say some shit Jolie...)

Is Scarlett Johannson really that hot?
She's cute and all but can she really hold Halle Berry or Eva Longoria's jock?

She was recently voted Sexiest Women in the Space/Time Continuum or some such bullshit by Horny Ass Frat Boy magazine.
Or maybe it was FHM's 100 Sexiest Women of 2006.

She beat out such beauties on the list as Kelly Clarkson, Christina Aguiliera, Paris Hilton, Gwen Stefani and Reese Witherspoon (all ugly) for the title by going from #9 last year to #1 this year.
What moves you up 8 hot units?

Maybe it's nuggets of wisdom like this?

"One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy."

Indeed Scarlett, indeed.

Tell your daughters.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Are you gullier than this man?


Nicholas Kristof has a contest going on the NY Times to win a trip with him for an all-expenses paid, cocaine-snorting, binge drinking, prostitute purchasing romp to Bangkok.

Or not. Although he actually bought a prostitute before.

Being that this is Nicholas Kristoff, he will actually be taking you to a developing country somewhere in the third, or even fourth world, but nothing insane like Sudan or Falluja. The NY Times lawyers don't want to mail your body home or have your corpse on Page A1 of the Sunday paper.

His theory is that American college students are isolated from world (even the Juicy Couture sorority girls?) and should truly immerse themselves in other cultures in order to better understand this planet we inhabit.

Maybe seeing life outside of the gated fantasy bubble that most tourists travel in would allow people to understand that things like buying terrorist insurance and finding skulls are everyday life to many.

You don't get much to travel with so the exposure and company are really your prize.

From his letter -

I’m looking for a masochist. If your dream trip doesn’t involve a five-star hotel in Rome or Bora-Bora, but a bedbug-infested mattress in a malarial jungle as hungry jackals yelp outside – or if you know of an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend whom you would like to suggest for such a trip – then read on.

Over the next month, I’ll be holding a contest to find a university student or two to accompany me on a reporting trip to the developing world. I’m not sure where yet, and that will depend partly on what’s in the news at the time. But to give you a sense of the kind of travel I’m thinking of, the possibilities include a jaunt through rural Burundi and Rwanda in central Africa, or an odyssey from the coast of Cameroon inland to the heart of the Central African Republic.

Don’t expect comfort so much as diarrhea. We’ll be on the go from dawn to late at night every day, interviewing anybody from peasants to presidents (usually the peasants are more interesting). We might visit a clinic, an AIDS program, a school, a factory.

And you won’t just be watching. I want you to report as well – probably in a weblog or video blog on the New York Times Web site, maybe in some other way. I’m open to other ideas as well, but I want you to convey reactions to what we encounter to the Times audience. You won’t be practicing tourism, but journalism.

We’ll be traveling with Naka Nathaniel, who is legendary at The Times for his multimedia presentations on the Web. He often travels with me to produce video specials from my trips, and he’ll work with you as well on your presentations and help you file them by satellite phone.

Now I should say upfront that our lawyers are pretty boring. They’ve nixed the idea of us all hiking through Afghan minefields, riding a camel through Darfur, or sneaking illegally into Zimbabwe. So no war zones. And no purchases of Cambodian sex slaves this time.

There’s no money in it for you, and this isn’t an internship. Indeed, we can’t guarantee anything at all – we may be barred from entry, our satellite phones may break down, or maybe I’ll break down and you’ll spend all your time trying to evacuate me out. But we will cover all your expenses, from airfare to visa fees, mosquito net to granola bars. And I’ll do my very best to give you a potentially life-transforming experience.

Frankly, I’m hoping that you’ll be changed when you see a boy dying of malaria because his parents couldn’t afford a $5 mosquito net, or when you talk to a smart young girl who is at the top of her class but is forced to drop out of school because she can’t afford a school uniform. I’m not saying you’ll turn into an aid worker – but I’m hoping you’ll remember how much of the world lives and carry that memory through your life and let it affect your work and priorities. I began backpacking through Africa and Asia when I was in university, and the experiences changed me as I hope this trip will change you.

What’s more, I’m gambling that your thoughts and reactions on this trip will make powerful reading to others. I’m a jaded traveler at this point, but you will bring something that I’ll never bring to my third-world reporting again: fresh eyes.

So what am I looking for? Somebody over 18 in an American university, undergraduate or graduate. (I’ll try to work out a time over the summer when you can go without scandalizing professors.) I would prefer somebody who has some experience in blogging, writing or student journalism, but that’s not a requirement. If you’re interested, complete the application and send in an essay of less than 700 words explaining why you’d like to go on this trip, and letting me know of anything in your background that you think is relevant. You can also suggest a destination if you’d like. If you have a blog or other writings or photography that you want to show off, send them along (but we can’t return anything – hey, we’re hoping for lots of applications). Send in the names and phone numbers of two references, at least one of them a faculty member, whom we can grill about you. The application deadline is April 20. The winner will be announced by June 1. You’ll need to commit about 10 days to the trip sometime in the summer. Good luck.


If I wasn't out of school, I'd give this a shot.

Or at least I'd like to think I would.

I guess I'll leave this to the white girls with dreadlocks who live for that shit. (Start Snitching loves you.)

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Conscience is a killer...

The tagline for Season 5 of The Shield turned out to be quite literal.

After 65 episodes and 5 seasons of The Shield, I think it is more than safe to say that The Shield is the greatest television show ever.

Why am I thinking about the actions of a fictional character along with all my real ass life problems?
The last time a TV show hit me in the heart like the season finale of The Shield was when Nate dove into the ocean (50 cool points for you if you know what I am talking about.)

Shows like The Shield really make you examine the power of good fictional storytelling.

It is better than novelesque, all-encompassing, procedural approach of The Wire.
It is better than all of David Chase's socio-cultural statements masked with a uneven mobster story in The Sopranos.
It is better than the dysfunctional crazy white folk drama of Six Feet Under (that I loved that fucking show.)

I'll branch out beyond modern pinnacle of the HBO drama and say that this show is better than "The Simpsons," "The Cosby Show," "Roots," "Saved By The Bell," "Voltron," "Mr. Rogers" and any show you have ever loved, combined.

Get Season 1 on Netflix, go rent it at Blockbuster, download it on BitTorrent.
Shit, stand with tinfoil hangers on your neighbor's roof to steal cable.
Do what you need to do, and just watch this show.

Make the investment and start from Season 1.
This is not Friends, you cannot start at episode 104, knowing that Rachel kissed Joey and not miss a step.
Everything builds on everything else.

I have personally made about a dozen people watch at least Season 1 and I have never gotten one complaint. The Shield is my bible.

It's a crime that less people have seen The Shield than have seen "The Apprentice," "24," "Prison Break" or any of the shit that passes for captivating suspenseful TV nowadays.

Do yourself a favor and watch The Shield.
You'll thank yourself and you'll always have something to talk to me about.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Keep it surreal

The newest addition to the post-South Park/Family Guy pool of equal opportunity offending cartoons is "Minoriteam" from the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.

Occasionally you have breakout books such as Maus and Persepolis that draw mainstream acceptance, achieve must-read status and break the perceptions people have of comic books.

Minoriteam is not that.

The premise of this shit sounded so ridiculous that I had to give it some shine.

It's closer the four-color Jack Kirby comics of the 1960's than to an actual cartoon. It's a really just a moving comic book.

Consisting of a wheelchair bound Asian, a bulletproof Indian clerk, a super fast Black man, a Jewish guy and a hard-working Mexican, Minoriteam battles a secret organization called "The White Shadow" and fights villains such as Corporate Ladder, Racist Frankenstein and the Standardized Test.

I don't know what the lifespan of a potential one-trick pony like this is but it has to be funnier than the Boondocks.

Watch it in all of it's copyright infringing glory here.

If all that wasn't weird enough for you, peep this quote from Alan Moore, the mad loner genius responsible for "V for Vendetta" and "The Incredibles" (he didn't write The Incredibles, but the Incredibles was highly inspired by one of his works.) who was interviewed by The NY Times.

'If I had raped and murdered a schoolbus full of retarded children after selling them heroin,'' he said, ''I doubt that I would have been cross-examined for 10 hours.''

Early candidate for Quote of the year?

Did you get your race card? Part 1

(You know you played Magic, don't lie.)

It seems like this ridiculous show "Black/White" on FX has prompted a flood of racial shit all over the place.

Most of the reports that have been released around the time this show debuted showed how irrelevant this shows' simple premise of dress like whitey/darkie and feel like whitey/darkie is.

The NY Times dropped a bomb on Monday when they showed exactly why black men are fucked in America as well as how fucked they are. Thanks to the 23,454 people who e-mailed me this article in case I somehow missed it.

Here is a quick fact sheet
  • In the inner cities, more than half of all black men do not finish high school.

  • The high rate of incarceration and attendant flood of former offenders into neighborhoods have become major impediments. Men with criminal records tend to be shunned by employers, and young blacks with clean records suffer by association, studies have found.
  • Another problem is related to an otherwise successful policy: the stricter enforcement of child support. Improved collection of money from absent fathers has been a pillar of welfare overhaul. But the system can leave young men feeling overwhelmed with debt and deter them from seeking legal work, since a large share of any earnings could be seized.

    About half of all black men in their late 20's and early 30's who did not go to college are noncustodial fathers, according to Mr. Holzer. From the fathers' viewpoint, support obligations "amount to a tax on earnings," he said.

I see this shit on my block, the dudes who barely make it out of high school after 5 or 6 years disconnect from mainstream society altogether. I went to Michigan for four years to come home and they look at me like I went on an exploratory mission to Venus.

Stories about Mid-Western life and white girls might as well be tales about Martian invasions.
The hopeless myopia that is all too common in the urban black outlook on life need the same focus that bullshit non-issues like gay marriage and flag-burning get.

Now compare that type of invisible racism, with another recent announcement in the NY Times that shows how college aid programs that were exclusively for women and minorities have been completely opened to white people.

Perhaps the overwhelming success women have had in college erases some of their need for an intensive support system, but most minorities (espy. Blacks) are getting flushed out of life before they even get an college application. And now all the aid they could have gotten if they made it to college is going to white folk?

Peep the quote from Whitey McWhiteWhite of the Bullshit Euphemism Club,

"Our concern is that the law be followed and that nobody be denied participation in a program on account of skin color or what country their ancestors came from."

-- Roger Clegg, president and general counsel of the Center for Equal Opportunity

Where the fuck do these people come from?

One of the most successful things the Bush administration did was to keep all of their racist views intangible. Bush hasn't done anything overtly ridiculous, like pronouncing Niger as nigger in public speeches, but his policies are as damaging and more dangerous than the good old open racism of the 1950 and 60's.

Bush sent out Condi Rice to tap dance about affirmative action when the case was in public eye, in order to show that smart nigros don't like AA (affirmative action) while Colin Powell said he was all for the AA.

Guess which black person no longer works for the Bush administration?

Following the confusing 2003 legal decision by the Supreme Court on University of Michigan's affirmative action policy, hundreds of spineless schools have been washing out all traces of race from their aid programs in an effort to pre-empt any legal challenges.

Dumb-asses like Sandra O' Connor, said that the need for race-based programs should be gone in a generation when she explained her vote on the Michigan case.

Whereas she will be dead in a generation, racism, institutional and otherwise, will not be dead in the 20-30 year period that she vaguely assumed all racism would end in.

Supreme Court Justices, for all their ivory tower wisdom and encyclopedic legal knowledge, don't know shit about the real world.

Peep the real world,

  • Last year, in response to a legal threat from the Education Department, Washington University in St. Louis modified the standards for an undergraduate scholarship that had been open just to minorities and was named for the first African-American dean at the university. This year, the first since the change, 12 of the 42 first-year recipients are white.
That shit makes me sick.

One of the negro lawyers fighting for minority scholarships said "How is it that they conclude that the great evil in this country is discrimination against white people?'' Mr. Shaw asked. ''Can I put that question any more pointedly? I struggle to find the words to do it because it's so stunning.''

Schools, only concerned with their bottom line are caving in before the government can sue them.

With racism becoming increasingly invisible, from the fact that if you live in the hood you will never see how isolated you are, to the reality that most white people will not notice their college is 100% white, FX's new show Black/White seems like its time has passed about 40 years ago.

I'm going follow up more on Black/White in an upcoming post after I see the 3rd episode of this show.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

I don't know what the hell is going on with Blogger because my site's URL is not loading when you enter it or if you have it bookmarked certain ways.

If you can even read this go to

and that should take you to my site from now on.

Hopefully that works while I hit up Blogger to see what the deal is.



It seems it was just one of their all too frequent bugs. All URL's should work until their next breakdown...

Monday, March 20, 2006

I believe

(If I still bought jerseys this one would be on the way.)

It was written in the stars, (get it!?) Terrell Owens was meant for the Cowboys.

An undeniable history of greatness, the confidence of knowing how good you are as well as the hatred of most of America are all trademark Dallas characteristics.

For all the shit he talks, the dude is talented. Besides, all his outbursts are misguided attempts to motivate his team.
Of course he'll argue with Bledsoe, but so did Keyshaun Johnson.

When it comes down to it, he just wants to win.
He'll be good for the team and the Cowboys will make the playoffs next year with at least a 10-6 record.

Folks need to remember that Jerry Jones has been reigning in unwieldy negroes since the early 90's and that Owens is not the type to be found with a hooker in his trunk, or cocaine in his helmet like so many other ridiculous criminally inclined athletes.

He'll be fine.


Iverson remains the gulliest dude in the NBA.

Not only is he a midget, he is not 6' in person, but he has the healing factor of Wolverine on steroids.
According to USA Today, the only athlete tougher is Brett Favre.

I was on trying to see if he would be back in time to prevent bum-ass Chris Webber from destroying his playoff hopes and I ran across this graphic.

Left shoulder separation
Sore left shoulder
12/12/96 and 12/14/96
Sprained left ankle
Right quadriceps contusion
3/26/99 and 4/4/99
Broken right thumb
11/24/99 - 12/10/99
Synovitis, left knee, broken left big toe
Right shoulder dislocation
Left knee contusion
Left hip pointer
3/14/01; 3/17/01 - 3/23/01
Tailbone contusion
4/4/01 - 4/6/01
Right elbow bursitis
4/17/01 - 4/18/01
Left sacroiliac joint contusion
5/26/01 (PO)
Right elbow rehab
10/30/01 – 11/8/01
Sprained left thumb
12/7/01 – 12/8/01
Sprained right great toe
Fractured left hand
3/24/02 – 4/17/02
Right knee contusion
Right knee cematoma
Right knee contusion
12/14/03 – 1/3/04
Right index finger sprain
1/27/04 – 1/28/04
Right shoulder contusion
2/23/04 – 3/3/04
Right knee synovitis
3/8/04 – 3/14/04
Right knee synovitis/right knee lesion of the articular cartilage of the trochlear groove
3/22/04 – 4/14/04
Right Elbow Contusion
Right Ankle Sprain
Left Shoulder Strain
1/26/05 - 1/29/05
Flu-Like Symptoms
Right and Left Thumb Sprains
Left Ankle Sprain
1/28/06 - 02/03/06
Right foot sprain and contusion
03/14/06 - 3/19/06

Heart like that and they don't want him on the next U.S. Olympic team?
Fuck 'em.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 3/12 - 3/18

(I miss you baby!)

I don't even have to wait until the end of the week for this one.

After last Sunday's ri-diddy-donkulous return of the Sopranos, it is only right that I honor the Italian-American princess who helped close out Season 5 and whose presence still hovers over the show.

Not to mention she made HBO a little prettier on Sunday nights.

Meadow Soprano is the only thing that keeps the Sopranos from being the ugliest show on television.

After getting pinched on some possession charges, Adriana strung along the FBI as best as she could, while trying to get herself and her fiance out of the life. Her plan didn't exactly work and her fiance gave her up.

If you were Christopher, would you choose Tony Soprano over this?

Bitch ass...

Adriana La Cerva, for your fictional and conflicted snitching, as well as hotness, you are the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 3/5 - 3/11

(She gone die...)

No, this is not an Islam blog, but they got so much drama going on that I can't help it.

Islam has been busy in March. The NY Times had a three piece series about an imam in Brooklyn and his juggling act between Islamic tradition and American 'liberalism.'

Not to mention the two year anniversary of the Madrid bombings.

But what really got me excited was Dr. Wafi Sultan's display of hatred on Al-Jazeera (video here) that impressed even an old school hater such as myself.

She seems to have the type of self-hate for her old Muslim buddies that can only come from a nightmare experience in youth. The type of intra-race hatred that fuels Ward Connerly, Clarence Thomas and the legendary race traitors of yore.

See if her bad Muslim experiences earn her a turncoat card.

When she was in medical school the Gunmen of the Muslim Brotherhood burst into a classroom at the university and killed her professor as she watched.

"They shot hundreds of bullets into him, shouting, 'God is great!' " she said. "At that point, I lost my trust in their god and began to question all our teachings. It was the turning point of my life, and it has led me to this present point. I had to leave. I had to look for another god."

In my book, that's good enough to turn against your own ethnic group.

After that she bounced to America and became a good old secular Californian academic elitist where she emerged as an outspoken critic of Islam. When her essays caught the eye of Al-Jazeera she was brought on for a live debate that got the Muslim world fuming.

During the interview she dropped such old-school truths as,

"The Jews have come from the tragedy and forced the world to respect them, with their knowledge, not with their terror; with their work, not with their crying and yelling."

She went on, "We have not seen a single Jew blow himself up in a German restaurant. We have not seen a single Jew destroy a church. We have not seen a single Jew protest by killing people."

Blacks often compare the Jewish recovery from the Holocaust with the black recovery from the slave trade.

While you could easily write a thesis paper on the details and reality of that statement, I believe it to be a worthy comparison.

She has already received such charming notes as, "If someone were to kill you, it would be me."


She is the gulliest and most suicidal Muslim woman since Ayaan Hirsi Ali. And that chick is hood.

Dr. Wafi Sultan, for your real-in-the-field brand of suicidal venting, courage to speak out and (metaphorical) bomb dropping, you are the Snitch of the Week.

Tread carefully...

(Can you hear me now?)

I'm trying to be as sensitive as possible on this one.
But if you are a deaf beauty pageant contestant, why oh WHY would you walk on a train track while sending a text message?

Tara McAvoy, a local beauty pageant winner, was killed by a train
as she walked on a train track with her back to the oncoming traffic while text messaging people. It's bad when fully functional people send texts while crossing the street, but damn.

Granted she was from Texas, but still.


Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Snitch of the Week: 2/26 - 3/4

I caught a glimpse of this in one on the free NY dailies, AM NY maybe, a few weeks ago but clearly I'm behind on my Snitch of the Week's.

It seems that back in 1997, Busta hit the high notes on his baby mama when she ripped out his dreads and jacked up his car and house when she caught him with some new ho. The damages were in excess of $2,000.

Did he take her to court? Did he get the money back? Did he demand sole custody of the children?

I'm guessing hell no on all of those.

So what the fuck did he call the police for?

I guess the idea of getting G- Unit to kill her was several years off.

Busta, for showing that you used to have love for the 911, you are the Snitch of the Week.
Hit 'em up. I know you got them on speed dial.
They miss you.

Shiny new stuff...

The beauty of blogging is that I can post whatever I want.
Even if you don't like it.

Here is what excited me about last weeks CeBit tech convention in Germany.

1. Sony Ericsson M600i

This phone is hot and smart.
It has a full keypad without being humongous.
How does it do that?
It puts two letters on each key. Press on the left side you get one letter, press on the right side and you get the other.
Granted this is a business Crackberry-style phone, so it has no camera and other stuff, but if you have to be a corporate drone why not do it with style?

2. A 10 Megapixel cameraphone.

Why would they?
I have no idea.
But just knowing that this will never enter America makes me want it that much more.
Completely unpractical, but I'd drop a dime on you to get one.

3. A 16 GB USB drive.

This will easily run over a $1,000 and contain more space than anyone will ever need, but damn I want one.

4. I couldn't have a post with all positivity. Granted, this isn't from the convention but it is tech-related and eye-catching, for better or worse.


Dada (they still make clothes?) has unleashed an MP3 playing shoe that plays music through wireless headphones or the ghetto blasters they come included with. They also charge via USB port and get you killed instant in any urban city.

Speakers, in a shoe?
Who will be the first celebrity to rock these?

Friday, March 10, 2006


(My bad, we still cool right?)

  • How do you say sorry for torturing an innocent person?
    I don' t think Hallmark has that card yet, so the U.S. government trying $300,000.

    An Egyptian man that was held in a detention center in Brooklyn (yes they torture people right here in America) for damn near a year; was beaten shackled, beaten, sodomized, cleared and then released.

    The settlement involved no acknowledgement of wrongdoing by the U.S. and sites "special factors" that allow the them to override the lawsuit.

    At least the guy got something.

  • MC Hammer still has a blog. I know I'm late.
    Rejoice in your childhood hero's effort into modernity.

  • I'm posting this because it still bothers me.
    Corporate fraud and cronyism surprises no one, Bush's NASA boy got busted for creative resume writing a few weeks ago and now Crooked White Executive (CWE) #4762109, David Edmonson, the chief executive of RadioShack got caught for claiming he had two college degrees when he had none.

    And corporate executive pay is so out of control that a CWE of a failing company like RadioShack gets over a $1 million in cash as a severance payment.
    Is it too late for me to get my money back from Michigan and apply for an executive position at RadioShack?

  • Speaking of modernity and college failures, why don't students know how to use e-mail.
    A report in the NY Times a few weeks back shows that many college students e-mail their professors about some straight-up stupid shit.
    I understand e-mail is still a relatively new communication medium but damn homey.

    Look at one e-mail a student sent...

    "Should I buy a binder or a subject notebook? Since I'm a freshman, I'm not sure how to shop for school supplies. Would you let me know your recommendations? Thank you!"

    Others involved students coming out of the closet to their professors, cutting class and asking for professor's notes as well as telling professors they weren't coming to class so they could play with their children.

    I know how privileged and special college students like to think but this is just on another level.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Welcome to NY mo' fo'

If you ride the train in New York you run into your fair share of wackjobs, religious or otherwise.

There is Matisyahu's father on the 2 train, who passes out Jewish/Old Testament/Jesus related literature. He's a blast.
There are the seemingly secular mini nigros that try to sell you chocolate while using incorrect English. Although I think they're part of a cult. But that's another story.

And you have the staple of old black women who throw Bibles at your head and shout at you.

The most recent addition to the MTA peanut gallery was a middle aged black man who informed us all that Jesus sent him from Baltimore to let us know that the day of reckoning was coming, or something like that.

It usually works best to ignore these people, but this guy made his way down the train car personally asking people if they were for Jesus.

So a random passenger who just stepped on the train was instantly questioned about his readiness for Jesus.

Apparently he had already reached his daily quota of Jesus questions because he quickly replied, "Are you ready for Jesus?! Good, then that's all you need to worry about!"

Jesus man says, "Well if that's not a NY response..."

Angry atheist says, "I'm all ready. Amen, Hallelujah, Thank you Jesus!" to which Jesus man sulks off to the next car, perhaps wondering what train goes back to Baltimore.

One of my better train/proselytizing moments.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Fuck a Verizon

It's time for another "Fuck A" post where I swear off another consumer product.

I previously noted my battle with Verizon.

The battle is over. And no, I did not move my house for them.

I finally gained the courage to end my abusive relationship with Verizon DSL.

The free Yahoo! Launchcast Plus kept me longer than I should have, but I finally found the strength to leave.

I signed up for Cablevision Optimum Online service.

If you can get that in your area, go for it.

It's the same $30 a month and you get 15 Mbps speeds compared to the normal 3 Mbps Verizon offers.

I used the very same router Verizon gave me with Cablevision and my connection has yet to slow down to 1995 AOL dial-up speeds, freeze up, disconnect or disappear.

Here we go!

(Babies for all...)

Some things remind you just how fucked up this country is.

I rarely, actually tangibly care about the boatloads of news articles I read (a bad sign of advanced cynicism) but for some reason this shit pisses me off more than normal.

The largest abortion ban in America passed in South Dakota on Monday. And that's only the start of this new wave of legislation.

What is disconcerting is that Republicans and other abortion foes have literally plotted for decades for this one moment.
That insane type of Uma Thurman/Kill Billesque revenge Christians want to evoke on Roe V. Wade is frightening.

Decades of behind the scenes lawyer and judge breeding, conservative legal foundations and millions of dollars all for one personal and shrinking issue. Abortions have generally decreased in America over the past several years.

One gets the feeling, Bush didn't care how many airplanes crashed, nigros drowned, or soldiers blew up, as long as the see-saw of the Supreme Court got tilted a little more in the right direction at the right time. So to speak.

With Alito and Roberts in place, the case eventually comes back to the Supreme Court and Scalia, Thomas and Co. get to decide what happens to your daughter. The joy of it all.

Even if Bush wins and all abortion is made illegal all throughout America, what happens then?

Will abortion vanish like so many other human vices?

Prohibition was a smashing success.
The War on Drugs has totally rocked for the black community.
And I know illegal prostitution has cut out all desire for that service...

What a stellar track record...

The reality is, in many places where abortion has been made illegal, the rates have gone up.

From a NY Times editorial,

  • "For proof that criminalizing abortion doesn't reduce abortion rates and only endangers the lives of women, consider Latin America. In most of the region, abortions are a crime, but the abortion rate is far higher than in Western Europe or the United States. Colombia -- where abortion is illegal even if a woman's life is in danger -- averages more than one abortion per woman over all of her fertile years. In Peru, the average is nearly two abortions per woman over the course of her reproductive years.

    In a region where there is little sex education and social taboos keep unmarried women from seeking contraception, criminalizing abortion has not made it rare, only dangerous. Rich women can go to private doctors. The rest rely on quacks or amateurs or do it themselves. Up to 5,000 women die each year from abortions in Latin America, and hundreds of thousands more are hospitalized.

    Abortion is legal on demand in the region only in Cuba, and a few other countries permit it for extreme circumstances, mostly when the mother's life is at risk, the fetus will not live or the pregnancy is the result of rape. Even when pregnancies do qualify for legal abortions, women are often denied them because anti-abortion local medical officials and priests intervene, the requirements are unnecessarily stringent, or women do not want to incur the public shame of reporting rape."

I really can't understand why people are so obsessed with lives that are not theirs.
Is it the syndrome that makes random women on the train inquire about Britney Spear's second pregnancy with the urgency of a terrorist attack?

But what can you expect from a country that arrested people in their homes for private consensual acts up until three years ago and an administration that enforces a global gag rule, which bans any family planning group that gets American money from speaking about abortions, or even criticizing unsafe illegal abortions.

They can't stop, won't stop until everyone is a Christian, or at least lives like one.

From now on it's abstinence-only ladies.

Cross your fingers and legs and hope for the best.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Semi-late Oscar Roundup

(Subtlety reigns supreme...)

I am on a quest to watch all the major award shows this year.
Except the Tony's of course.

Grammy's down, Oscar's in action and Emmy's up next.

Down to business.

1. Jon Stewart was not as funny as Chris Rock.
He was nervous and was too self-depreciating.

A good Bjork/Cheney joke was well- received but the rest was, eh.
It was like watching the Colbert Report.

Stuffy ass Hollywood people need Chris Rock poking holes in their inflated sense of self-worth.
Although Rock played it clean in 2005, he still managed to piss off everyone when he said something I have long felt was true, "There are only four real stars, and the rest are just popular people."

As well as...

"You ever see a movie so bad that you question the actor's finances?" Rock said. "I saw this movie 'Boat Trip' the other day and I immediately sent Cuba Gooding a check for $80. Why don't some movies work? Because the studios make them too fast. OK? If you can't get a star, wait!"

Playing to those of us at home who pay $9.50 per ticket, Rock pointed out to the industry crowd that Colin Farrell is not Russell Crowe, Ja Rule is not Tupac and Jude Law is not Tom Cruise. "Who is Jude Law? Why is he in every movie I've seen in the last four years?" Rock joked.


2. Funniest moment was when Ben Stiller's green screen failed to impress Spielberg. As Stiller said "I'm blowing Spielberg's mind," Spielberg shook his head while he clearly mouthed to the camera, "No you're not."

Gay cowboy montage was good as well.

The faux-political ads were on point as was most of the political humor as were the side jabs at Hollywood.

After the montage of social films, that included "Driving Miss Daisy" from some reason, Stewart remarked, "And none of those issues were every a problem again."

3. Charlize Theron is hot.

4. Reese Witherspoon is unattractive.
While that has nothing to do with her strong performance in "Walk the Line" it is worth noting.
Also the trannie from "Desperate Housewives" should have won.

5. Why was the blackest moment of the night from a white guy from South Africa?
Gavin Hood, the director of "Tsotsi," a movie that I deem as good without having seen it, shouted out Viva Africa and a bunch of other shit that put Black History Month to shame.

6. Robert Altman is the man. The more I thought about the more I realize what a great director he is.
He has made dozens of movies and many of them are bad. That is a fact.
But he has made some of the most incredible and varied movies seen from one director. Even someone I love, like a Woody Allen, does the same thing over and over.
Altman keeps it about as random as my blog.

"MASH," "The Player," "Short Cuts," and "The Long Goodbye (my favorite) alone are better than some entire director's careers.

Fuck an honorary Oscar.

7. "March of the Penguins" was so cheesy and maudlin. It's a real shame that it won. Especially compared to other docs that had trailers that were more interesting than Penguins.

8. Fuck "Crash."

The racist cop who rapes your wife will probably not save her from a burning car in slow motion.

Your Mexican maid is not your best friend no matter how shallow everything else.

Nigros who rob people don't complain about being racially profiled.

Don Cheadle don't fuck with white chicks. (Ok, well I just made up that last part.)

I loved "Million Dollar Baby" but Paul Haggis really slapped me in the face with this one.
This movie is like the rich suburban kid who just found out about race trying to teach you about tolerance and diversity.

This movie's victory confirms Hollywood's love of pseudo-depth and self-congratulatory addressing of 'social issues.'

9. Dolly Parton got robbed. "Travelin' Thru" is fire and that Three 6 Mafia song is garbage.

The West Side Rent Story dancers in the foreground was a fucking joke. What a overwrought and utterly foolish performance of a mediocre song.

10. All in all it was a boring TV show that shouldn't have been 3 and a half hours.

Bring back Chris Rock and edit the show into a concise 2-hour program.
Read the nominees faster and cut out the bullshit awards.
Get more interesting presenters.

Or just get Dick Cheney to shoot Bjork.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Are we getting along yet? Rodney wonders...

(Relatively happy, all things considered)

The time flies when you're dodging police batons.

It's been 15 years since March 3, 1991, the date when Rodney King had his national audition for The Shield.

I know I should reflect on something like how many times I've been stopped by the police for no reason in that time, (3) or some L.A. crime statistics, but mainly it just makes me feel old.

15 years man!