I went to a small state school called the University of Michigan. They have a football team called the Michigan Wolverines. You may have heard of them. On most Saturdays during the college football season you can see my old school's games broadcast on a little channel I call ABC.
For four years I had the opportunity to see them in person at the Big House, an aptly named stadium that literally stunned me the first time I set foot in it. I couldn't believe that there was something that beautiful in Ann Arbor, let alone University of Michigan. It almost made me regret the fact that after a whole college career and close to 50 games that I only went to one.
Today the Wolverines lost to a team that hadn't beaten them since 1986. Do know where I was in 1986? I was mourning still mourning Reagan's re-election while watching Thundercats with Smooth Criminal in the background.
If that's not bad enough they lost to a team called the Badgers.
This is their logo.
That shit is seriously gay (not that their is anything wrong with that...)
And to top it off it was the Michigan homecoming. I feel sorry for any nostalgic alumni who ventured back to the Mid-Waste (Zing!) hoping their presence and inebriation would reverse the Wolverines woeful fortunes.
At this point, the season is shot. The only thing carrying them is their marquis and the fact that millions of fans will still watch them anywhere, even when they end up at the 1st Annual Lay's Salt and Vinegar BBQ Chip Bowl.
Luckily I didn't even watch the game. I was at a high school football game in Brooklyn, where my little brother's team came back from a 0-8 halftime deficit and won 14-8 in OT.
The solution to Michigan's problem is obvious.
They need to come to Brooklyn.
Holla at me Lloyd.