Another week, another stupid holiday.
Unlike Columbus Day, I hope you have never heard of this one.
I was introduced to Sweetest Day in October 2000 as a freshman at the University of Michigan where I was informed of my obligation to buy something for a girl. I politely declined.
Five years later, as people more and more people flee the Mid-Waste without the proper vaccination (Ohio, Michigan and Illinois are the biggest celebrators), they carry Sweetest Day with them across the Union while afflicting SARS-like damage.
What started out as a fairly noble day of remembering the less fortunate with kind gestures in the 1920's has devolved into another reason for Americans to buy shit.
And rightly so, because poor people, are like totally depressing. Have you ever taken the subway? Not all poor people sing and dance. Some of them just ask for food and cry.
What am I supposed to do about that other than buy Midwestern girls chocolate?