Sunday, March 18, 2007

Snitch of Week: 3/11 - 3/17 (Khalid Shaikh Mohammed)

I was going to pick the six-year old girl who called the cops on her mom,

  • Jenkins said the girl was wise to her mother's cocaine dealing, telling them she chops up a white substance, puts it in bags and takes them and the girl to alleys. There, people gave the mother money for the bags, police said the girl recounted.

But I have to pick Khalid Shaikh Mohammed or KSM, who last week confessed to committing every terrorist act ever as the Snitch of the Week.
The dude was dropping science about assassination attempts and terrorist plans that weren't even previously disclosed.

  • Mr. Mohammed also outlined a vast series of plots that were not completed. Among his targets, he said, were office buildings in Chicago, Los Angeles and New York; suspension bridges in New York; the New York Stock Exchange “and other financial targets after 9/11”; the Panama Canal; British landmarks including Big Ben; buildings in Israel; American embassies in Indonesia, Australia and Japan; Israeli embassies in India, Azerbaijan, the Philippines and Australia; airliners around the world; and nuclear power plants in the United States.

That's a lot of terrorism.

At first I thought he must have gotten the shit tortured out of him and that all his exploits made him the gulliest terrorist ever (Start Snitching loves America and freedom, don't get it twisted) but then my boy Sam pointed out to me that he might just be pulling a "Wee-Bey."

And this article pretty much proved him right. KSM basically took the fall on a bunch of charges so that his fellow Arabs could get off easy and his rep could go up all across the Middle Eastern streets.

The real question is, does KSM have a son that will fail to live up to his father's gully ways and then run away from his legacy a la "Namond Brice?"

KSM, for bringing to light the realness of the "War on Terror" and the scariness of men with large amounts of back hair, you are the Snitch of the Week.

- Also noteworthy in the world of Snitching was the fact that Guiliani gets paid by Hugo Chavez.

Despite how dirty the history on Guiliani is, he is better than any of the other crazy ass choices for President coming from the Republican side.


  1. I'm pretty sure even copping to charges you might or might not be guilty of and getting the death penalty is better than being held by CIA in a hole in an undisclosed location and getting brutally tortured constantly. We'll never know if KSM is guilty or not. Isn't torture great?

  2. Plus getting the death plenty gives you martyr status and 39.5 virgins in heaven.

    People are watching too much "24." Falling in love with that torture.

  3. For a minute there, I was expecting KSM to admit to killing both Anna Nicole and her son Daniel. Hey, he's admitted to darn near everything else.

  4. The Ron Jeremy of Terrorism.

    Everyone knows that they tortured him, he told them anything they wanted to hear just so the Bush Crime Family can claim a "victory" in the War on Terror.