I had no intentions of watching the Emmy Awards until I realized that Conan O'Brien was going to host the show a few weeks ago.
I decided I could ignore the snub of The Shield to watch Conan make an ass of himself for a few hours.
Like all awards shows it was too long and Conan, the only reason the show was worth watching, wasn't on enough, but his opening sequence was on point.
I'd put up a link if I could find one. But he basically wandered into all of the major shows, one after another, then made fun of the major stars in a monologue and did a musical number about how screwed NBC is in the ratings.
No one does self-depreciation like Conan O'Brien.
Other things worth noting,
- Eva Longoria remains the truth.
- 24 is not the best drama and Kiefer Sutherland, no matter how many people he tortures, is not the best male actor in a dramatic series.
- The "My Name is Earl" writer, who thanked all the people who didn't help him win his award is my new hero.
- These shows need to be two hours.
- Six Feet Under got robbed. The list of robbers and robbees is here.
I'm done with award shows for a minute.
Unless I'm invited or get a tax-free Emmy gift bag like the one they got this year which included a,
- Five-day stay at Old Bahama Bay on Grand Bahama Island, plus access to all water sports;
- One-year bicoastal membership to the Sports Club/LA (which, contrary to its name, has locations in San Francisco, Miami, New York and various other hotspots);
- Sprint Fusic mobile phone, retails for $329;
- Two nights at the US Grant in San Diego, including spa treatments;
- One-year bicoastal membership to YogaWorks;
- Five-day golf or ski getaway at the Adara Hotel in Whistler;
- Six days at the Wharekauhau Country Estate in Featherston, New Zealand;
- Four days at the Dolphin Bay Hotel & Residences in Pismo Beach, California;
- Six days at The Lodge at Molokai Ranch on Molokai, Hawaii;
- Babystyle gift card, Lulu the Lamb original stuffed kids' chair and personal shopping consult;
- Gift certificate for two-day "Emmy Crush Camp" wine appreciation at the Napa Valley Hotel;
- Food & wine pairing for six people from the Crustacean Restaurant in Beverly Hills;
- Spa gift certificate and products from Fresh;
- Gingi skincare products;
- Ike Behar silk tie, button-down shirt and lapis cufflinks;
- Morton's Steakhouse gift certificate (last year's was for $1,500);
- String of pearls from Pearl Paradise;
- Prive Salon and Ona Spa gift certificate;
- Dooney & Bourke leather roller luggage;
- "365 Days of Dove" chocolate assortment;
- Gift certificate for linens from DreamSleep Studio;
- Instructions on how to donate gowns, tuxes and other Emmy goodies to the Clothes Off Our Back Foundation to benefit relief efforts in Darfur, Sudan, the Children's Defense Fund and Cure Autism Now.
I'll stick to watching the actual shows.
I mean The Wire is coming back for Christ's sake.