(Cure for narcolepsy)
I watched the Grammys last year and I don't remember it being so damn boring. Mopey ballad after mopey ballad and overwrought celebrities milking their tired personas for the few seconds of camera time they could muster. Good round up here.
Perfect example was Jamie Foxx who said "When they announced that The Police would be opening up The Grammys, I saw Snoop Dogg sneaking out the back door."
No one laughed.
Foxx then offered this wisdom, "That joke would have killed on BET."
Guess what Jamie, the Chicken Noodle Soup kills on BET, so be funny or shut the fuck up.
The real kick is that the ratings actually went UP from last year.
- An estimated 20.1 million people watched the Dixie Chicks take home every trophy they were eligible for Sunday night. That's up 18 percent over last season, according to Nielsen Media Research.
With Mary Blige, Red Hot Chili Peppers and the Dixie Chicks taking home the most awards, it seems like the industry would like to pretend it's still 1997. You know, when sales were good.
Observations from when I was awake:
- Who actually likes the Dixies Chicks?
There is nothing worse than whiny-ass protest music. I would bet that the Democratic National Committee bought most of the 2 million records they sold.
- "Tonight we celebrate the better human being because for so many years, I've been talked about negatively," said Blige, who during her 15-year career has often discussed her past substance and self-esteem problems. "But this time I've been talked about positively by so many people."
Mary J. Blige, you were a drug addict until last year. You were probably too blunted to realize what was really happening at the last 10 Grammys. You cleaned up and sang songs crossover songs with U2 to make the soccer moms like you and now you get your awards. Chill with the "They like me, they really like me!" shit.
- Slavemaster Timberlake got to choose one of the three blacks girls to
take behind the plantation, er I mean to sing a duet with. It's been a while since he popped Janet's titties and hid away in the Mickey Mouse club while she took all the heat. I guess it's time to bring slavery back. Yea!
- Giving Ludacris an album for the superbly mediocre "Release Therapy" was actually a happy moment because for a second I thought Pharrell was about to win for the "album" he made last year, "In The Toilet" or whatever it was called.
- Corrine Bailey Rae and Nelly Furtado can get it. But even they could not save this show.
I actually ended up changing the channel and watching a PBS documentary on the history of the Supreme Court which I found about 3498 times more interesting than the Grammys. I am officially 73 years old.
Seriously, did anything interesting happen? At all?
I also found this more entertaining than the Grammys. Props to Joey on it.
In the meantime you can ready for the Oscar's with this gully ass and highly illegal site that lists torrents for every single movie nominated. (www.oscartorrents.com) Pretty gangster if I do say so myself.