Thursday, November 29, 2007

Pure Hilarity

Straight from my boy at

As a Tribute to the Notorious B.I.G.

This paper was turned in by an Oakland High school student who received the highest honors at the school district's ebonics translation competition.


Please translate the following song lyrics from ebonics to standard English.

Artist: Notorious B.I.G.
Album: Ready to Die
Song: One more chance (remix)

First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys Dummies - playboy bunnies, those wantin' money Those the ones I like 'cause they don't get nathan' But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation Garbage, I turn like doorknobs Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever However, I stay coochied down to the socks Rings and watch filled with rocks

As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude magazine models, and whores. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and expensive jewelry.

And it only gets better on the site.

This may be old, but I never saw it.


  1. This is old stuff man. When I was college the assistant to the Dean of Student of Multicultural affairs sent this around right after Biggie's death, which pretty much annoyed the hell of out of all of people.

  2. Why would anyone get annoyed?

    Maybe people were touchy around his death but still, people are too damn sensitive.

    This is just good satire.

  3. The whole ebonics thing was misinterpreted from the beginning.

    It was not about converting slang into proper English.

    It was about recognizing syntax and certain grammar usage typified by African American and using that dialetical structure to properly teach proper English grammar.

    Ebonics example:

    She be going home.

    Proper English example:

    She is going home.

    As usual it was taken the wrong way and an actual creative way to teach our kids was reduced to a joke.

  4. I read this in Vibe years ago, but its still hilarious!

  5. I think the timing plus the fact the lady seem to becoming at students from a Bill Cosby, rap sucks angle that ticked people off.

  6. There is no proper English equivalent to the phrase "she be going home".

    The uninflected form of the verb "be" is used in combination with other verbs to express a tense which exists in several African languages, but not in the English language.