Saturday, February 13, 2010

Your Racial Politics are a Wonderland

One of these is not like the rest..

So John Mayer singlehandedly halved the number of rap-approved rock artists from two to one (congrats on the W Coldplay) with his astoundingly casual racism in his awful Playboy interview.

You know how sometimes, people say "I was taken out of context"? Well in this case the context was even worse than the racial comment he got in trouble for. The interview was filled with just sort of unfiltered frat boy douchiness that you'd expect to find in the male portion of his fanbase.

But this is Start Snitching so let's get into the racial parts after checking out a piece of the interview,

  • MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"

    PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.

    MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.

    PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

    MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

    PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.

    MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.

Re: Nigger Pass

As a privileged white boy, what he was TRYING to say in the first part of the interview was actually pretty self-aware. He was dismissing the foolish notion of a 'hood pass' and recognized the limits of 'black acceptance.' 

Even the coolest affirmative action supporting white person in the world, whose ancestors were abolitionists, marched on Washington, and voted for Obama, can't drop a N-bomb without getting curbstomped. It's just that simple. 

Had he made that point intelligently, no one would be talking about this shit, and he would be getting more praise than scorn from those that caught it.

Re: David Duke Cock

His second point betrays any intelligence he tried to display in the first part of the interview. Calling your cock David Duke might make for an awesome quote and get you booked as a keynote speaker at the next Teabagger Convention but again it's not the smoothest way to make the point that you may have found some black women attractive but never dated one.

Guess what John Mayer, tons of black women have found plenty of white guys attractive, but also have not dated any of them either, probably because many are worried that white dudes are secretly racist. See the cycle of bullshit we're dealing with here?

Saying Kerry Washington is 'white-girl crazy' and will 'break your heart like a white girl' means nothing at all. ALL RACES OF WOMEN ARE EQUALLY CRAZY AND WILL BREAK YOUR HEART IN THE EXACT SAME WAY. Ask any dude of any race.

Women of all races are also great in the same ways. White women do not put up with less or more bullshit from men than any other race of women. I'm not being glib about this at all, because domestic abuse is serious shit, but an abused women shelter is a pretty diverse place. 

Kerry Washington's alleged proclivity in casual dick sucking doesn't advance the racial dialogue at all or make me want to check out your song about crazy women any more than I did before the interview.

Holly Robinson Peete is not feeling Mayer at all on this and Jessica Simpson wasn't feeling Mayer's comments about her super V either. Hilary Banks was unavailable for comment.

So what have we learned here? Whether saying something insightful or ignorant, John Mayer has no subtlety. Also, you should probably not do interviews drunk.

But he cried about it at a concert y'all,

So expect the prerequisite  minority girlfriend and Kanye duet (who is still awaiting white redemption for rapin, er stage-bumping Taylor Swift) soon.