Snitch of the Week: 1/13 - 1/19 (Rappers on Steroids)

(Marlo Stanfield, my new alias)

The idea of rappers on steroids shouldn't have received the surprise reaction it did when the news broke last week.

Look at the formula of rap music.


Hyper masculine culture

+ Exaggerated fantasy talk

+ Weak Album Sales

+ The Need for Attention

= AKA Barry Bonds/Roger Clemens syndrome


The real kicker is how they ordered their steroids,

• "Between August 2005 and January 2007 Blige allegedly received multiple shipments from an Orlando pharmacy of Jentropin, a human growth hormone, and Oxandrolone, an anabolic steroid, in orders sent to her at the Beverly Hills Hotel, MGM Grand in Las Vegas, and Clay Gym in New York City.
  
  At least one of the orders was mailed under the name "Marlo Stanfield," which is the character name of a drug kingpin on the Baltimore-based HBO crime drama "The Wire."

  "[50 Cent] is alleged to have received shipments of steroids at his mansion in Farmington, Conn. in July 2006 an order was mailed to his residence under the name "Michael Jordan" and also at a residence on Oakmont Drive in Los Angeles. Steroids in his name also were mailed to the office of a Long Island chiropractor."

My name is Stringer Bell Vic Mackey Jack Bauer and I'd like one steroid please!

Stupid fucks.

_________________________________

The runner-up is a group of E-thugs who decided to bring their gangsterism to YouTube.

• Two alleged gang members who taunted the Miami Dade Police Department in a video posted on YouTube have been arrested by U.S. agents and charged with federal firearms violations.
  

  Rudy Villanueva and Tony Logan, alleged members of a Miami-Dade County street gang called the Bird Road Boys, were seen in the video brandishing a shotgun, assault rifle and handguns. Villanueva was arrested by Immigration and Customs Enforcement late Tuesday evening, and Logan was arrested early Wednesday morning.

  Villanueva, who goes by the names King Bird Road and Bird Road Rudy, is the alleged leader of the gang and is seen on the video saying, "Metro Dade Gang Unit, here I am baby." Villanueva went on in the video to say "we's out here fighting a Cold War" and that "they come at us if they want to.
  
  Logan appears in the video saying "come get it" while flashing gang signs and pulling the triggers of the two handguns he is holding.
  
  Mexicans for the win!
  
  
  For somehow involving The Wire with the ever spreading steroid scandal, steroid rappers are the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 1/6 - 1/12: Al Sharpton (Bounty Hunter)

(I'm coming for you Sharpton)

Apparently Al Sharpton is picking up the slack for the Dog the Bounty Hunter since his son flipped on him a few weeks ago.

These two Shawshank fans snuck out their prison cell on some Prison Break shit and were eventually caught but not before King Ambulance Chaser Al Sharpton tried to get some shine off this spectacle.

• Even though his ad hoc mission collapsed, Sharpton still tried to take credit for the arrest. "Clearly his calling me ... helped lead to the conclusion," Sharpton said. "I hope that justice for all parties will be served."

  The Marshals Service denied Sharpton's presence had anything to do with the arrest, and New Jersey prosecutors blasted him for his attempted intervention, which they said bought Blunt precious hours on the run.

  Union County Prosecutor Ted Romankow said Sharpton never told him Blunt might have fled to Mexico - and the lawman first learned about Sharpton's stunt in Wednesday's News. "I said, 'Whoa, Mexico?'" said Romankow, who conceded jail guards didn't notice Blunt's original escape for 20 hours. "I was a little surprised."

  Officials with Sharpton's National Action Network insist they informed NYPD Commissioner Raymond Kelly about the Mexico mission. An NYPD source said Sharpton told Kelly only that a friend was trying to get Blunt to surrender and never mentioned Sharpton was going to Mexico.

  It's not Sharpton's first embarrassment. He famously defended Tawana Brawley even after the teen's rape claim was debunked and turned up in an FBI surveillance tape discussing a drug deal with a reputed mobster.

  Blunt was awaiting trial on robbery and weapons charges when he broke out of the Union County Jail with Jose Espinosa, 20.

  The pair stole a metal wheel from a storage room and used it to gradually pound a hole through a cinder block wall in Espinosa's cell. They covered up the hole with nudie pictures, just like a character did in the hit movie "The Shawshank Redemption."

  They apparently escaped Dec. 14, but guards did not realize they were gone for nearly an entire day. Blunt even left a cheeky note thanking jail guard Rudolph Zurick for his help. Zurick later committed suicide.

  Unlike Blunt, Espinosa didn't make it far. Cops busted him Tuesday a few blocks away from the jail in a girlfriend's basement apartment, where he had been hiding out with a twisted ankle.

Obstruction of justice... awesome!

This comes on the heels of some white twit on the Golf Channel who called for Tiger Woods to be lynched. As the stalwart defender of the Civil Rights that he is Tiger Woods said, "That's OK!" and then Sharpton jumped in and called for the announcer to be fired.



This woman should lose her job for that shit but Al Sharpton, with his record of corruption, opportunism and divisiveness is not the dude to trumpet these issues anymore, especially after going around the police to play bounty hunter. Get lost Sharpton.

Play golf, marry a white woman, join a country club and all that. But maintain awareness.

Why was Barack Obama able to pull off the mixed black man with different interests and background routine and maintain his sense of blackness, while Tiger Woods failed so miserably?

Al Sharpton, for getting your Bubs on, you are the Snitch of the Week. Tiger should lynch himself.

Snitch of the Week: 12/30/07 - 1/5/08 (New Jersey)

It's easy to be theoretical about the "Stop Snitching" movement until you read one of these tragic stories about someone who gets caught in this mess.

Then you realize that it's just truly sad.

New Jersey, for showing all the real world ramifications of this chicken and egg level quagmire (there are multiple articles in the Times about this topic) that the inner city has sunk into, you are the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 10/14 - 10/20 (Bill Maher)

It's no secret that left-wingers nut jobs are as high on the shit list as their right-wing counterparts but watching them embarrass themselves on the most recent episode of Real Time with Bill Maher put them in the spotlight.

The 9/11 Truth movement is the most pathetic and misguided political group to emerge for the debris of the Twin Towers.

These are the people who insist that this administration, who has not kept ONE THING SECRET

Not Valerie Plame
Not Abu Gharib
Not Gitmo Bay
Not Extraordinary Rendition
Not Illegal Wiretapping
Not Cheney "Secret" Energy Meetings
Not the "Downing Street Memo"
Not Alberto Gonzales Attorney General Scandal
Not the 2000 Election voter irregularities

(And that's just off the top of my head)

Somehow managed a multinational conspiracy of unprecedented proportions to destroy American landmarks and alter the course of modern history.

I've read the 9/11 Commission Report (still here for free) and I've seen Loose Change and some of the other crackpot 9/11 theories.

It's clear that there are some serious unanswered questions about 9/11 and Bush uses the fear and terror alerts to placate the masses.
All the secrecy has gotten to their head and Bush definitely fuels this insanity with his cloak and dagger behavior.

But here's the real talk about the "9/11 Truthers."
They're bitter and racist.

It's goes against America's psyche of superiority to admit that the U.S., in all its Red White and Blue, Uncle Sam and apple pie greatness could be overtaken by some rocking throwing Arabs.

I've read this in the discussion on the 9/11 websites.
"How can the most advanced defense system in the world be overtaken by untrained terrorists."
"How could they have accurately hit the buildings?"
Etc.

What I don't understand is who is committing all the global terrorist attacks if 9/11 was an "inside job?"

Bombings in Bali, Spain, London, Islamic terrorist groups from Trinidad plotting on JFK and attacks on LAX and on and on.

Bill Maher, for breaking your foot off in the ass of the "Truthers" you are the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 10/7 - 10/13 (School Shooter Snitch)

School shootings have become a virtual way of life in this country. Gun proliferation and poor social skills keep these stories in the news.

So it's always good when the police can get the one-up on these kids. Another one of these stories popped up in Pennsylvania and it turns out the would-be shooter asked the wrong kid to join him on his Columbine quest.

• The boy, whose name was withheld because he is a minor, attended the middle school associated with Plymouth Whitemarsh until 18 months ago, when his parents began schooling him at home because he was being bullied by other students, the police said. He tried to recruit another onetime student at the school to join him in the attack, they said, and that former student alerted the police.

The real kicker of this story is that the boy's mom bought him an assault rifle.

• The genuine assault rifle, for which no ammunition was found in the home, was bought legally at a gun show by the boy’s mother, the police said. But she bought it for her son, Mr. Castor said, adding that as a result his office was still deciding what charges to file against her, if any.

Let's do the math on that one:

1. Son is a bully victim + 2. Needs to be home schooled + 3. Assault Rifle = ??

Um, yea...

The mom need to take a serious hit on this one.
For dropping the dime on the potential shooter, the other kid is the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 9/23 - 9/29 (Spielberg Snitch)

(Can you say my bad?)

Some stories just smack you in the face for sheer absurdity.
Peep Tyler Nelson's fuck-up,

• "Nelson, cast as a dancing Russian soldier, talked to the Edmond Sun in Oklahoma despite having signed a nondisclosure agreement. In response, director Steven Spielberg's spokesman is ominously quoted as saying: "Who knows whether that particular person will ever work in this town again?""

How do you cross Steven Spielberg, the King Jew of Hollywood and expect to live, let alone work in Hollywood again?

He'll be lucky if he can get a job cleaning Port-A-Potty's in Santa Monica.

For fucking the fuck up and achieving new levels of stupidity, Tyler Nelson is the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 9/16 - 9/22 (Miss Teen South Carolina)

(Oh white girls, you always win...)

Remember Lauren Caitlin Upton aka Miss Teen South Carolina, who we all got a laugh off of for her "Maps for the Iraq, and um the like because of the South Africans" video?



Guess she got the last laugh.

• The South Carolina beauty queen who suffered a geographic meltdown over "U.S. Americans" during last month's Miss Teen USA pageant can now have the last laugh, with the chance to make up to $25,000 a day as a model for Donald Trump.

  Lauren Caitlin Upton, 18, of Lexington, S.C., reportedly flew to New York City today to begin employment for Trump Model Management.
  
  The station says she'll live in the Trump Apartments in Manhattan, with potential assignments in faraway places "such as" Milan, Japan and Australia. There was no mention of "the Iraq" or South Africa, two countries Upton dwelt upon in a rambling answer at the pageant.
  

So she'll be getting:

1) $25,000 a DAY
2) Free room and board in an Manhattan apartment
3) Free international travel

and an opportunity to replace Donald Trump's wife when he's ready for some new white meat?

For dropping the dime on how the world really works for anyone who felt superior to her, Lauren Upton is the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 9/9 - 9/15 (Eric Mangini)

(He did it! Over there!)

I'm torn about Eric Mangini's snitch move against Belichick.

On one hand Belichick is a cheater and the kind of scumbag coach that forces players on the field with concussions. I'm glad to see his ass on the fire.

On the other hand, Mangini was mentored and setup in the NFL with Bellichik, so he knows all of his tricks and probably uses them himself. So it comes off as a sore loser bitch move to drop the dime on Belichick after the Jets got raped by the Patriots. And now he's lost a good deal of respect in the NFL.

If Mangini ever goes to New England, he better bring his boy Tony Soprano with him if he wants to make it back to NY alive.



Mangini, for better of worse, you are the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 9/2 - 9/8 (Vanity Fair)

(Limousine liberals can't complain about Bush...)

The older I get the further I get from my youthful naive affection of the NY Times.

This article from Vanity Fair (long and really worth the time) details the absolutely deplorable kid gloves the media handled Bush with in 2000 and how George Bush ended up being sold as the political equivalent of Al Gore. George Bush is not the same as Al Gore. Joey from Straight Bangin' agrees.

And these are "lefty" papers like the Washington Post and the NY Times doing this shit.

Media coverage of presidential candidates has never been more relevant as the 2008 Election swings around and hucksters like Fred Thompson, Mitt Romney, Giuliani, and even Hillary all step up to the plate and try to sell stories and looks instead of ideas.

• As the Daily Howler noted, MSNBC anchor Brian Williams went after Gore's clothes at least five times in one week. "Here is a guy taking off his suits.… This is the casual sweater look—what's going on here?" … "He would have been in a suit a month ago." … "He's wearing these polo shirts that don't always look natural on him." Williams's frequent guest Newsweek's Howard Fineman later chimed in: "I covered his last presidential campaign, in 1988. One day he was in the conservative blue suit, the next he was playing lumberjack at the V.F.W. hall in New Hampshire."
  
  And Gore just kept going on about issues. Alluding to five speeches he made in two months on education, crime, the economy, faith-based organizations, and cancer research, Seelye wrote, "Mr. Gore becomes almost indignant when asked if his avalanche of positions might overwhelm voters." The Washington Post's David Broder later found Gore too focused in his convention speech on what he'd do as president. "But, my, how he went on about what he wants to do as president," wrote Broder. "I almost nodded off." As for the environment, while Gore was persuaded by his consultants not to talk about it as much as he would have liked, whenever he did, many in the media ignored it or treated it as comedy. Dowd wrote in one column that "Al Gore is so feminized and diversified and ecologically correct, he's practically lactating." In another, referring to his consideration of putting a Webcam in the Oval Office, she wrote, "I have zero desire to see President Gore round the clock, putting comely interns to sleep with charts and lectures on gaseous reduction."
  

WOW.

Look, Gore ran a horrible campaign, I will always admit that, but the media handed Bush the presidency (that he actually lost in the popular vote) in 2000.

The media coverage had this basic theme,

"Stupid ass Gore wants to discuss issues, but I want him to charm me and be my friend. Frat-boy Bush is funny! Here take the presidency!"

That turned out well huh?!

• Maureen Dowd boiled the choice between Gore and Bush down to that between the "pious smarty-pants" and the "amiable idler," and made it perfectly clear which of the presidential candidates had a better chance of getting a date. "Al Gore is desperate to get chicks," she said in her column. "Married chicks. Single chicks. Old chicks. Young chicks. If he doesn't stop turning off women, he'll never be president."

  "I bet he is in a room somewhere right now playing Barry White CDs and struggling to get mellow," she wrote in another.

  Meanwhile, though Dowd certainly questioned Bush's intellect in some columns, she seemed to be charmed by him—one of the "bad boys," "rascals," and a "rapscallion." She shared with the world a charged moment between them. "'You're so much more mature now,' I remarked to the Texas Governor. 'So are you,' he replied saucily." And in another column: "You don't often get to see a Presidential candidate bloom right before your eyes."

Bush bloomed alright...

Vanity Fair, for calling out the myth of liberal media, Maureen Dowd and her ilk's disgraceful political coverage, you are the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 8/26 - 9/1 (Mother Theresa)

How perfect is it that we found about Mother Teresa's atheism (shorter link) shortly after the great Ingmar Bergman's death? (Watch Seventh Seal, if you're not up on Bergman.)

Apparently Teresa wasn't gleefully handing out bread and Bibles while collecting souls for Christ, it seems more like she was depressed as hell and writing letters that sound like Bergman dialogue.

• "I am told God lives in me -- and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul," she wrote in one of the letters.

Damn Mother Teresa, lemme find out you were ghostwriting for Bergman.

Her doubt is interesting in the fact that it questions the idea of faith and how religious people who are in power address their doubts.

She sure as hell is not the first closet atheist chilling in a religious organization.
Is that what fuels zealots? Overcompensation because of doubt?
Worth a thought.

For infiltrating the Catholic Church and dropping the dime on God, Mother Teresa is the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 8/19 - 8/25 (Gov't Whistleblowers)

Peep this article about America's retaliation against whistleblowers exposing American government corruption.

It's hard to hold onto any semblance of national pride when reading shit like this. It's also easy to understand Mos Def's skepticism (which I dismissed) about "The War on Terror."

• For daring to report illegal arms sales, Navy veteran Donald Vance says he was imprisoned by the American military in a security compound outside Baghdad and subjected to harsh interrogation methods.

  There were times, huddled on the floor in solitary confinement with that head-banging music blaring dawn to dusk and interrogators yelling the same questions over and over, that Vance began to wish he had just kept his mouth shut.

  He had thought he was doing a good and noble thing when he started telling the FBI about the guns and the land mines and the rocket-launchers - all of them being sold for cash, no receipts necessary, he said. He told a federal agent the buyers were Iraqi insurgents, American soldiers, State Department workers, and Iraqi embassy and ministry employees.

  The seller, he claimed, was the Iraqi-owned company he worked for, Shield Group Security Co.

  "It was a Wal-Mart for guns," he says. "It was all illegal and everyone knew it."

  So Vance says he blew the whistle, supplying photos and documents and other intelligence to an FBI agent in his hometown of Chicago because he didn't know whom to trust in Iraq.

  For his trouble, he says, he got 97 days in Camp Cropper, an American military prison outside Baghdad that once held Saddam Hussein, and he was classified a security detainee.

Sweet. We're torturing U.S. citizens.

As our country's infrastructure falls apart, metaphorically and literally, it's hard to stomach the bottomless pit of unregulated money that has been wasted over there.

• Corruption has long plagued Iraq reconstruction. Hundreds of projects may never be finished, including repairs to the country's oil pipelines and electricity system. Congress gave more than $30 billion to rebuild Iraq, and at least $8.8 billion of it has disappeared, according to a government reconstruction audit.

How do you lose nearly $9 billion?
You don't, you just make sure the people who know where it went stay quiet.

Apparently the hood motto of "Stop Snitching" has its beginnings a little higher up the ladder, you just don't see Cheney wearing the t-shirt.

For trying to bust up the sweet gravy train that the Iraq War has created for the Bush crew, the government whistleblowers are the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 8/12 - 8/18 (Self Snitches)

Let's make this quick,

• Juanita Marie Jones, 53, called Rochelle Police late Thursday night after she purchased what she thought was a $20 piece of crack cocaine, according to police reports.

  She told officers she broke the rock into three pieces and smoked one, only to discover the drugs were "fake."

  She took Officer Joel Quinn and Deputy John Shedd of the Wilcox County Sheriff's Office into her kitchen and showed them the drugs, police said.

  She was promptly arrested on charges of possession of cocaine.
  
  
  

• A judge was fired for posting ignorant shit on his MySpace page. A fucking judge.
  Between this and the guy who sued for his pants, the legal system is truly a joke.
  
  "The AP wouldn't actually quote the phrase and the MySpace page has since been made private, but The Reg can confirm that MacArthur told internet users everywhere that his interests include "breaking my foot off in a prosecutor's ass" and "improving my ability to break my foot off in a prosecutor's ass.""
  
  Wow.
  Is MySpace used for anything else but self-incrimination and casual sex?
  Peep the story below from Gothamist.
  
  
  
• A 16-year-old Bronx boy was arrested for the Sunday murder of Rayquon Story aboard a 5 train. The police tracked down the suspect after someone gave Story's aunt a Myspace picture and said, "This is the kid who shot your nephew."

  The person in the photo was identified as Robert Denis, and he was charged, as an adult, with murder, attempted murder, manslaughter, and criminal possession of a weapon. The police reveal some more details about what may have led to the fatal confrontation. According to the Daily News, apparently Story's friends and another group had an argument at an earlier barbecue. Police were called to break up the fight, and Denis had arrived at the barbecue around then. When Story and his friends left, "they were followed to the elevated train station by as many as 30 young men," including Denis. After another person asked for Story and Story identified himself, Denis allegedly fired six or seven times in his direction and then ran from the train.

  Story's mother, who had begged for witnesses to come forward, told the Post, "I'm relieved, I really am, that they have a suspect."
  
  
  Respect to whoever gave up the murderer.
  
  
  
• Finally, a cop arrested his own wife on a DUI. His wife was the sheriff's deputy.
  Some people take the snitching a little too far.
  
  

Snitch of the Week: 8/5 - 8/11 (Bathroom Republican)

Good looks to everyone who emailed me this story, although it was pretty hard to miss.

Bob Allen, a Florida Republican, got busted trying to blow a undercover black police officer in a park bathroom. He then blamed his gayness on the fact that he was scared of black people and with his intimate knowledge of the blacks, he decided offering a blowjob was the best way to get out of the situation alive.

I guess he thought he was being robbed by Omar?

As always, the Daily Show sums it up best.



Not to be beaten, Glenn Murphy, the Young Republican National Federation President was under investigation for blowing a man in his sleep. He did the same thing about 10 years ago.

Don't forget Ted Haggard and Mark Foley.
Why are Republicans so gay?

By passing the very laws they aim to break, gay Republicans make it that much easier for it all to blow up in their face (no homo.) Gay Republicans, you are the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 7/29 - 8/4 (Obama)

Barack caught a lot of flack last month for calling out Pakistan as an ally of terrorism.
The Washington Establishment (Hillary et al) were quick to jump on Obama for breaking America's unwritten rule of pretending enemies are your allies while you go to war with countries that pose no danger.

That's why we are fucking up Iraq and Iran (soon) while ignoring the fact that Pakistan hosts the Taliban in the mountains and that most of the 9/11 attackers were from Saudi Arabia.

The funniest/saddest shit was that after all the opportunists and cowards jumped on Obama, Musharraf, the president of Pakistan, admitted that Pakistan helps terrorists. The very kind that Obama was shitted on for saying we need to attack.

• General Pervez Musharraf, the president of Pakistan, made a rare admission on Sunday before hundreds of Pakistani and Afghan delegates at a grand tribal assembly here, saying that support for militants emanating from Pakistan had caused problems for Afghanistan, and that his country should work to secure peace on its side of their mutual border.
  
  "I realize this problem goes deeper, there is support from these areas," Musharraf told delegates on Sunday. "There is no doubt Afghan militants are supported from Pakistan soil. The problem that you have in your region is because support is provided from our side."

No one talked about that part.

Obama, for spitting that truth from the D.C. roof, you are the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 7/22 - 7/28 (Everyone)

I'm doing a list because there is no way I can pick just one.
Snitching has enveloped the zeitgeist.

• Aquafina is tap water. No wonder Aquafina tastes so damn good. Don't front, NYC tap juice is that real deal.
  
  
• Guiliani chills with pedophile priests.
  
  
• Dubya's grandpa attempted a fascist coup of America in 1933. Talk about a grandson holding down the family business...
  
  
• LA Times columnist writes an intriguing column saying that Prince's free CD giveaway should be tried in the U.S. and gets his column buried.
  
  
• Swizz Beatz has a change of heart. He really likes snitches.
  
  In his current single, "It's Me Snitches," Swizz raps: "Freeze, you know who it is/ It's me, snitches" and "I ain't gonna shoot ya/ I could just choke ya."
  
  
• Obama calls Hillary's foreign policy "Bush Cheney Lite."
  Oh snizzap, Obama wants the drama with Chelsea's momma and it's not even 2008 yet.
  
  
• Republicans hate black people and technology which is why they refuse to do the NAACP and YouTube debates that the Democrats took part in.
  
  "When I was in high school, I may not have gone to the prom with the girl I wanted, but with the girl I could get," Sharpton said, suggesting Republicans leave black voters little choice but to vote for a Democrat.
  
  
• Best of all is Lindsay Lohan, who blamed her failure to stay sober and drive in a straight line on ... wait for it ... BLACK PEOPLE!!!
  

I'm partial on giving the Snitch of the Week crown to Lindsay Lohan but the comp is so tight that any of these people could take it home.

Snitch of the Week: 7/15 - 7/21 (FEMA Trailers)

I was going to choose The Nation as the Snitch of the Week for their incredible story on the Vietnam levels of civilian cruelty that US soldiers are engaging in in Iraq, but as long as Bush keeps blowing up steam pipes in NYC to keep everyone jittery (peep the story of the made-up terrorist), while he destroys the U.S. military, I will always have fuel for another post.
Just look at the stories that are coming out of there,

• Watch the video that goes with this article. What a perfect microcosm of the war. Get attacked, get mad, kill a civilian, breed more attackers.
  
  
• 18-year old from Queens, NY got killed in Iraq. Truly heartbreaking.
  
  

Instead I am going with this story about FEMA hiding the fact that their trailers were leaking formaldehyde. No wonder they were giving those shits away so easily.

"You want Federal money to rebuild your house? How about you just take this trailer and leave the windows closed. Thanks!"

From the article,

• One man in Slidell, La., was found dead in his trailer on June 27, 2006, after complaining about the formaldehyde fumes. In a conference call about the death, 28 officials from six agencies recommended that the circumstances be investigated and trailer air quality be subjected to independent testing. But FEMA lawyers rejected the suggestions, with one, Adrian Sevier, cautioning that further investigation not approved by lawyers "could seriously undermine the Agency's position" in litigation.

FEMA's almost as toxic to black people as number one coon on my list, Sharpe James who I wrote about before.

• Mr. James maintains that he is innocent of all the federal charges and will have his day in court. But some of the explanations he has offered up border on the preposterous. Take, for example, his trip to a beachfront resort in the Dominican Republic, for which federal prosecutors say he billed the city $1,440. Mr. James claims he wanted to see if the tropical gardens could be replicated at the train station in Newark...
  
  ...While presiding over a city where a third of the population lives in poverty, “He wasn’t even willing to pay $10 out of his own pocket to buy a movie ticket — he made the taxpayers do it.”

For exposing more FEMA retardation and inadequacy, the FEMA employees who spoke out are the Snitch(es) of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 7/8 - 7/14 (Firefighters Against Giuliani)

(Stay classy New Jersey)

It was pretty funny that Miss New Jersey had to snitch on herself after someone threatened to out her (not all that) slutty Facebook pictures to the NJ pageant people.

- And it was hilarious in a very pathetic way that the jig who drove the other two jigs that shot two cops in NY at a traffic stop was busted because a greasy fingerprint on a fried chicken box. (Good looks Ohsokool.) Stereotypes are funny because they're true.

• Career criminal Dexter Bostick was one arrest away from a mandatory life sentence and had nothing to lose when he blasted two city cops at point-blank range in a desperate bid for freedom, sources said yesterday.

  But he couldn't run away from evidence that tied him to the crime, including a greasy fingerprint on a box of fried chicken that led cops to one of his alleged accomplices.

  The man, a small-time crook from Queens, confessed and pinned the gunplay on Bostick and another man.

- But the real Snitch of the Week goes to the Firefighter's Union who blew Giuliani's shit the fuck up with their point by point video about what a joke this transvestite's 9/11 hero image is.


I'm gunning for you Rudy.

Snitch of the Week: 7/1 - 7/7 (Austin Mob Snitches)

Apparently the mob that murdered the passenger of a car that struck a small boy in Austin, Texas wasn't really a mob. A good turn of events, because this story kind of disturbed me when it first came out.

• Morales, a 40-year-old house painter, died after being attacked while coming to the defense of his co-worker Victor Medel, who struck a young boy with his car while dropping Morales off at the Booker T. Washington housing complex on Thompson Street near Rosewood Avenue in East Austin.

  His death drew worldwide media attention after police initially connected it to a crowd from a nearby Juneteenth celebration. City officials later reduced the number of people in the area and said the attack was not connected to the festival at Rosewood Park.

It turns out it was some dumb-ass jig boxer. I guess that's better than a mob of people murdering a stranger in America in 2007. Although it's debatable how much a part of America Texas really is.

To the five people who stepped up and snitched on this moron, which included some of his friends,

• "The affidavit includes summaries of statements given by five people who said they witnessed the beating. Willie Warren, 20; Charles Bernard Davis, 23; and Brandon Cleveland, 18, all told police that they were in a car with Colvin before the beating."
  

You are the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 6/24 - 6/30 (CIA Family Jewels)

Self snitching keeps things simple for me.

The CIA released a document called the Family Jewels that documents all of their classified illegal activities from the 50s to the 70s.
Full document here.
Sadly we'll all be dead by the time the CIA releases the documents covering all the illegal shit carried out under the Bush empire.

Reading through this shit is kind amazing, especially when you realize that the #1 classified item is STILL blanked out.

What the fuck could still need classification after 50 years?
I don't even think I want to know...

The most interesting items that were made public are,

• The use of the mafia to attempt to assassinate Castro.
• Funding of behavior modification research and experiments on "unwitting" U.S. citizens
• Opening of mail from 1969 to 1972 of letters to and from PR China
• Opening of mail from 1953 to 1973 of letters to and from the Soviet Union (including letters associated with actress Jane Fonda)
• Break-in at the home of a former CIA employee.

The list goes on...

Anyone who dismisses massive government conspiracies as foolish paranoia needs to peep the CIA's mid century game. I can only imagine how much worse the CIA has gotten since the Iran-Contra scandal days of Reagan and the happy-fun torture time of Bush.

If you want a brief glimpse of the new age Illuminati peep the bio of the Information Awareness Office. Scary shit.

Let's not forget that we have begun arming Sunni groups in Iraq that have previously attacked U.S. troops.

• "The US high command this month gave permission to its officers on the ground to negotiate arms deals with local leaders. Arms, ammunition, body armour and other equipment, as well as cash, pick-up trucks and fuel, have already been handed over in return for promises to turn on al-Qaida and not attack US troops."

Hey crazy Muslims, if we give you free guns do you promise to not kill us and aim at Al-Qaida instead?

That sounds like a fucking winner of a strategy.

If only we had a previous case to study and determine if we can trust insurgents with weapons after they do our bidding...

Oh wait, we do. It's called Operation Cyclone (what an apt name) from when the U.S. funded terrorists in order to defeat Russia. Then we left and they took the same training and weapons and blew up the World Trade Center.

Anyone remember that?
Yea, me neither.

For pointing out the sad amnesiac circle that is American foreign policy, the CIA is the Snitch of the Week.

Snitch of the Week: 6/17 - 6/23 (Branded Snitch)

(Not a fan of Start Snitching)

Good looking to everyone who pointed this story out to me, although it was damn near impossible to miss.

Apparently Arizona is the gulliest place in the world because last week a woman had the word "snitch" branded to her face as retaliation for helping police in a domestic violence case.

• "The brand singed into her flesh during a June 13 attack is 4 to 6 inches long and stretches across her left cheek from lip to earlobe, Mesa police Sgt. Chuck Trapani said Friday.

Damn.
I don't know if she would helped the police out if she knew what was going to happen to her but a face branding a la Armadillo earns you Snitch of the Week.